Anonymous Wrote

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Lessons on friendship":

I think you sound like a selfish person with no real feelings for people.


Thank you for sharing "what you think"
I regret if I "sound" like that.
That is not my heart however.

I had a option if I was to keep alive , healthy and be restored from the madness that was my youth. I had to look real hard at these things. Did I do everything right? No of course not. I did however attempt with all that was within me to get off the triangle of dysfunction and the crazy making that it created.
Was I able to keep a strong independent relationship with some family and friends? No unfortunately not. Others however who also gained functional lifestyles I have intimate wonderful friendships. With the level of victims, martyrs and controlling offensive/abusive people that surrounded me I simply did have to become "selfish" in order to survive.
I cared and still do care for those I love, those I have had to walk away from. More than you or they may ever know. I had to fight for life, my own.
I have grieved and watched from a distance those who I have missed as they grew into adults and raised their families. They too perhaps see me this way. Yet they may never really know the whole story. For like any of us we only see from our own vantage. They may never know what it was like for me in the inner circle. The ways I was kept suppressed and laid low before those I walked away from. The freedoms gained in the absence of the adults that raised the kids that I am now a stranger too.
That legacy of appearing selfish, of appearing as if I don't care about others...
That is the price I paid to stay alive!
It is a great sorrow to me that the price they paid was hurt and misunderstanding.
I chose life and fought so hard for it , with such an intensity that they just have no idea.
Neither you nor they have any idea of how painful, how ripped of soul I was to walk away from nieces and nephews just so that I could stay alive. For being in that circle would of cost me my life at my own hand many times over. There were those around me at the time who caused me to be able to be so "selfish" as to walk away. We paid so very dearly in many ways to chose life. That just sucks to have to make those choices.
That is however what I chose. Life...my own.

Hope for brain damage caused from abuse

Internal damage to the matter of the brain from years of abuse is a real issue many survivors face.
It is only now being recognized as Non Epileptic Seizures.
This in itself a miss-nomer, for any thing that is not electrical has not been recognized by the general medical profession.
I am VERY fortunate to have been stumbled into the hands of a very few select professionals who understand the effects of long term abuse and yes even torture.
Very few survivors ever over come to this point due to many factors including ignorance , lack of support both emotional and financial just to name a few. Poor quality of care is also one of them.

It was in the 50's that they were doing mass frontal labatemies (sp?). Were they stuck ice picks into the brain via the eye socket and just tour up the frontal lobe. Scary thought.

It is a scary thought for those who suffer with this type of mental illness to get help. For me the road has been very long and hard. I am one who was aided in the process by an apparently very high intellect. I say that from the responses and results of countless test and studies.

Today upon returning to the neurologist I found that although there may be an exceedingly slim chance of MS. it is more than likely in both of our options that the issue is this neuro damage making its way out my bones through symptoms that are very much real.

So the neurologist has had a practice several years and decided a few years ago to further his education and get a doctrine in psychology. It is his offer for me to consider this proposal...

He has to have 7 sessions with client to finish his dissertation. He asked if I might be willing to to receive the cognitive restructuring (the only known aide to this N.E.S. condition) from him. Through my insurance using a covering of an office he will work under. He said that his liability insurance had no issue with it. He is in the process of getting a sponsor who is the head of the board of physiology. Under his covering he could pursue the last of his (second) doctrine. He would then use my case as a dissertation paper.

I am almost to cry. I do not know why I lived, but this is so amazing to think I may be able to get help, and to educated the medical profession at large. Help in the restoration from a very rare disorder that so effects those who live though abuse and or torture. The hard wirer of the brain is so difficult to restructure. It is like the torture never stops to the brain (not the intellectual part) and it just continues to respond like the abuse never stop.
I would help out some of those who might other wise become like so many I have known. ..dead at their own hand.

It is so very rare that any of us are able to function at such a high level. It is hoped that cognitive restructuring of the brain might give me a freedom from the systems that plague me to this day and are steadily getting worse as I (my brain) ages. It is by the grace of God that he created me so very bright as to be able to become restored to this degree. We know that this is his desire for my peers as well.

I told the neurologist I would consider his offer. He asked me to please not just let it go as far as keeping an eye on the systems that are taking away my cognitive abilities. We might just be able to turn this around. I would be a test subject in this new and advancing break though in helping survivors to thrive.

To set the captive free!

As I sit awake at 4 in the morning. I am impressed from a hard dream on how the captive suffers.
Those looking simply (or so should it be) for love and a bond of emotional, heart to heart unity with another are compelled to it. Many have resigned to means by living lives in loveless marriages in order to have needs of shelter and such. I see how imprisoned are, those who are depending upon their own reasoning and effort to find what they need.
Without ever knowing love some are willing to let go of everything they have to purpose the acquisition of love, or a connection that looks like it. Choices are made everyday even in childhood to pursue it. I weep for the captive those who effort on their own powers and reasoning to find it. Suffocated by the reality that it is an endless empty quest.
One that cost them their souls.
I have the chain breaking freedom. The one thing that saved me. The knowledge that I am loved.
I have unmerited favor.
A love that fills the vacuccum that draws the very life out of the captive.
I was set free.
Adopted and heir into the unmerited favor of God.
Predestined and chosen.
Not that I am alone in this , but that I have gained the knowledge of it.
The difference between chains or freedom.
Even within the scritpures I find that Those who are predestinoned choosen before the foundatiions of time...are perishing for a simple lack of knowledge.
How I weep at ignorance.
How I grieve at those chains those endless pursuits that mimic the real thing. My heart so longs to set those who are captive ...free.
Be it known that you are loved.
Innately just for who you are. Loved beyond any measure that can be found in your empty pursuit. It is here waiting for you in this very breath. In this...
Come home.
Into the heart of worship come to your maker who longs for you.
You are loved.
It is true.
With this knowledge know that even in a loveless marriage you are loved.
Even in a empty void of existence you are loved.

I am loved and my marriage is so loving. I am fortunate that way. Loveless ness is such a consequence of trying to fill these voids on our own. Looking in another person for the fulfillment that only your maker can afford you. You see your mate is no different if He/She is in an empty place questing for what likewise you can not give in return.
Come home.
Fill your cup from the true sorce of this inate need.
With it filled then and only then can you ever begin to offer that to another.
So many captive try in vain to effort to "earn" this place . They struggle to gain the ground through "good works" and martyrdom. Sacrificing even any small measure of peace.
All in the pursuit of love, unmerited favor.
Grace.
Grace has been perverted in churches across our world. Because the leadership and the body does not even have a knowledge of who it is that loves them.
That they have been adopted and become and heir. Perversion swept the message even in the days of Titus. Now so few have clean hands and are not out for the dollar. Snakes in the grass. Taking advantage of the knowledge lacking folk,
who in all good intentions think they must earn this favor.
Unmerited favor is a free gift.
Unlike humanity this gift is offered with no strings attached.
Simply to reciprocate the impassioned favor. Fondly delighting in a friendship with the living God their maker...The one who gave us this void to be filled. His created hole in us is shaped just right only for Him to fill.
To set the captive free.
To proclaim peace to the wherry, and liberty.
So I declare it as I sit up grieving the empty pursuit of so many I witness around me.

But... He's done nothing wrong.

Good Easter Morning to all of you.

I awoke before the dawn within a dream.

I was in a high powered office building. I had been at a conference table at the end. It was hard to hear the lead counsel for he was at the far end and I strained to listen. I found myself in the lobby looking for the rest room. I discovered by accident a seamstress boutique. I entered. It was wonderful. There was soft music playing and the fabrics were so beautiful. I stood and took it in. Then I was approached by the proprietor Who was very suspicious yet eager to please my money out of my pocket.
She lead me over to a group of ladies looking at fine silkens that were intended for bustia's and undergarments. I admired the fabrics rich texture and colors and then offered to share my knowledge of color analysis. The proprietor then refused such information and dismissed it as faulty knowledge she did not subscribe too, and walked away.
I again searched out to find a rest room and entered. In stream I looked up as she opened the door with her suspicious key. She began accusing me of thieving from her. I said that I just needed to relieve myself and that was all I was doing. She then called a man in to guard her and I was exposed innocent and embarrassed. Her accusations continued. I emptied my purse that was a very small, then and she opened the small lip gloss of ointment and polluted it with her touch.
Then she ruffed me up and proceeded to throw me out of her shop but she had taken my sewing machine and it was scattered on the ground as I learched to protected it the man and the other was damaging it. I called it my singer (however in real life I use a Phaff). It was not mine. I just thought it was in the dream.
Then I awoke. I was angry because I had done nothing wrong.

Those who have so much to lose will be threatened by our innocence. Just as they were by Christ Jesus. He had done nothing wrong. Look what they did to him. Only He did not open his mouth to defend himself.

I have been very angry. I had done nothing (?) wrong. Yet I am letting go of this house because we can not or choose not to afford to live here any longer. This is a fine luxurious home. Yet I have always felt deep inside that I did not really belong here and that it was temporary. I have been angry about the upheaval of my life. The loss of time with my children (who I had waited so long to have). Angry with God, who has done nothing wrong. Angry with my husband, who has done nothing wrong. Angry because I am suffering discomfort although temporary I grumble. I thought of those Israelites being let free from bondage and in their discomfort they grumbled! I do want to enter in to our promised land. I do not want to annoy my leader (in this case my husband) into utter frustration with me. I do not want him to miss out on entering in because I exasperate him to sin.
It is our dream, it is for us to reinvent ourselves into a life of what we honestly afford. A home without mortgage. A home that is an absolute privileged to even dream of owning, yet it is hard for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven...I am getting a little glimpse of what that might mean. Like the tax collector of Luke who gave away a third of all he owned and shared his wealth so it is that Mr Uncommon and I are doing. It is our way to give and yet for several years we have held our excess out of fear. When we lost our lucrative employment we also lost our open hand. We held back what we feared we may never again afford to own. We have made a choice to let go of this home to reinvent ourselves.
Let me tell you that this is no easy task. My flesh has risen within me full of anger at the inconvenience of it all. Although I have known that this home was only for a season, known this deeply within my spirit, I have resented leaving the luxury of it. I have grumbled and belly ached until my husband has hit "the rock" almost. I do not want him to miss entering in because of me.
It is a very hard thing for us to lower our selfs in status, in comfort. It is far easier to raise our selfs. It is the one who is at the lowest place at the table who has opportunity to be lifted to sit closer to counsel.
It is those who have much, who fear the loss of it. We are threatened by those who come in innocence for the suspicion of theft is everywhere.

Entering into the kingdom just might be the absence of such fear of loss.
In it might be the gain of caring more about the other person than to withhold who we are. It is in all these riches that I have closed down to the open handed life I once live and will surly live again.
People are drowning in the accumulation, that is what we are taught we are to do. Accumulate and archive the sure signs that we have arrived. What a target for my anger. That I was deceived into the trap of it. Now ...and now I am to let it all go. All the "Stuff" that took so much of my effort and energies to acquire. The stuff that gave me status. Boy when you stop to really look at it it is so sick and perverted. All of that stuff began to drown me. I was suffocating. I had cried out to God on more than one occasion to help me be free from so much stuff. Now I cry out in frustration because it is so hard to shed it!
He has done nothing wrong.
We are drowning. It is a journey to freedom to entering in to the freedom. The kingdom that I am being gifted with. It is not about me...It is about the kingdom. Freedom from the fear the consuming trend. For all around me the consuming is eating the people alive. Eating every waking moment with the greed for gain and status. It is a hard thing to let go of it too. My flesh has had fits over it. Fear of the loss of all the privileges is hard too (smaller yard, smaller house, older things, closer buildings and so on and on).
We are so very fortunate to make this choice while we are able.
I have to remind myself and convince myself. Egypt is not better it is just what I have known. The promised land is taken by force it takes a lot of effort!
So this Easter Morning perhaps it is for me to walk around those walls of "Jericho" and just keep walking around those walls until all those ancient foundations are loosened up enough so that on that perfect morning I can just blow those trumpets and watch that wall just fall to the ground. All those obstacles and images of everything that is not welcome in, are abolished in my life. It will be a clean city of hope and a land of freedom.
A promised land of life more abundantly.

A challenge to post

It is a great challenge to visit here at my blog I find a wave of intensity that can be overwhelming and very draining. I want to offer up the things that might help save another in the agony of recovery but to do so costs me. I often become fatigued to do so. It is amazing the force of energy that goes through me when I visit here. Today I walked after the last post and I realize the power that is being unleashed to my good behalf, even if it is a bit uncomfortable to do so.

I have a friend a fellow blogger who is taking great courage to un mask "the face of trauma" in her own adopted child. She has even requested of me to share some of the things that she has found so profoundly helpful in her own journey to help her child. I have spent hours on the phone with her. It is a privileged to do so. However this has a price of exhaustion (That I am willing to invest in her and her child). In the exhaustion though I am continually healed and recharged with the awareness of how essential it is for me to come here and visit your hearts with knowledge that just may be used in part to set you free. I can not withhold that and will count the cost, measured so that I am able to function and process well those wounds I might have to open up to expose the lessons that I have learned.

I would really appreciate the prayers of the righteous on my behalf. For this is a high calling. I am a woman just like many of you I am made of clay and can easily be cracked. I know that God is handling me gently. I must take the courage to flight. I am a tenacious vivacious White Raven!
I will need the high places to rest after flight when I do open to this calling. I know we each have our destiny and purpose, most of us have many charges and duties. It is here that one is required of me that takes a great courage and sacrifice. I will do all that HE asks of me in this.
Those of you who may be agnostic please forebear with me for I am not.

Urgent call to pray for the Children. Please

I suppose I risk offending.
It is my heart is to say that I really care about all of you.
I really do not like devision and judgments based on religion. (the last post) This is what I came to on my 20th birthday. A kind woman who came to me, when I was in desperation asking God to show me why to live. She fed me as my body was hungry being with little food and faulty shelter. She laid an open Bible on my lap to this passage. I said O.K. God whatever you have for my life I am yours and I take it as truth, that YOU do love me.
My life turned around but not without a great battle and struggle to be free.
At this time of year my heart wants for all of you, SAFETY and REST.

So Please pardon me if I offend, but you matter more to me than what rejection I may face in sharing this text.

Safety in this present day and for ever throughout eternity be yours my dear readers. May God's peace and rest envelop your lives.

It is a few days now from when the ceremonies will begin. I weep inside with knowledge to great to understand on my own. So I ask all of you no matter your traditions of beliefs Please pray for the children in the sights of those who would worship another than the Living God. These children are in for a life stunting event and the people who perform such deeds are sentenced to an eternity that grieves me to think of happening to even my own greatest enemies. Please pray that they would turn from their deeds and repent. That God would even heal them. Sending legions of angels to battle over those lives in the cross fire.
I am weeping having known the price personally. I have in my recovery, many dear friends who could not bear the consequences of the harm done to them. Who's lives were lost to the devistation of the knowledge of what occurred to them. The lives now gone on before me, yet I live knowing the seriousness of this next few days. Please pray for me as the faces of memories are bolted behind the vail of love. This is such a hard time of the year for me. I feel so very lonely in this. I am so sad that the people are blind and ridicule me, and the truth as if it does not really happening. I know of a fact that it is still occurring. I am helping now a dear adoptive mother of a child who within the last 6 years had the same things done to her. This is real people. Please pray for her and this dear child trying to overcome the devastations of satanic ritualistic abuse. Covens are real.
I weep and pray and strain to stay in the quiet of the stillness, in the palm of HIS hand embraced as more than a survivor, an overcomer! I still stand in the cross hairs of the spiritual evil that would desire my silence.
The light can not be silenced, but when even fellow Christians attempt to dismiss me I count it as loss to the glory of the great Most High who has the power to even in this overcome within me to cause me to speak.
Please pray for the children who are being dedicated on those stone tables of hell. I know that like myself they will be given mercy in the midst. I know that God will give them a spiritual way of escape. But to have to learn how to live after a life of survival and existence is harder than most can do. I do not want even one to ever have to know what I have known.

My Salvation Story

I was the illegitimate, last child, of eight, born in 1961, into the generational curse of white supremacy and satanic worship. My Mother was sold a white slave in the back hills of Tennessee. My elder sister left at 18, I took over her role on the alter. It was the intimacy of torture that caused me to meet God's angels when I was a very young child. On the alter of Satan lay my body when Gods angels came and took my spirit to the forest places. I experienced such brutality as to be unspeakable. I have known the worst of humanity! It was there that I first knew also of love and safety. For God caused me to be free from the body that those who were workers of darkness were all but destroying. Abuse unparalleled was my existence with no human rescuer. Were it not for the forest angel and many other spiritual servants of God who kept me strangely dis-connected when it was necessary I would have gone mad. They were my friends. You see, I was as a child under the authority of those who in their own free will chose death. They choose to worship Satan practice his rituals and pursue the wicked gain . They were blinded by the perverse lie they had chosen to believed.

Yet I was chosen by Him to survive. Because I had known his name. And I called upon Him. I don’t know just how I knew his name when I was so little. But somehow someone, even perhaps He Himself introduced me.

Psalm 91:

I turned 20 in1981, with a bible in hand, in danger, and psalm 91 in my heart. Suicide was my morning mission if this failed me. I decided to have a yard sale, that day a woman named Leslie came and after sharing her concern for me feeding my body she gave me an avocado. She feed my starving body then, she fed my spirit. She lay an open bible upon my lap it was opened to the reference of John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whoever would believe upon him would not perish but have everlasting life.

Many events happened in that next two weeks of my life. The most significant was a literal battle over my soul. After several hours of war between the heavens, God said it is finished she is mine you can’t have her. I have a purpose for her she is mine. My body had raised men who were holding it down. It had flailed on stone and no bruise had been left. I am His!

The next several years had included most significantly a prayer that all I wanted was a home of my own and a man that loved God. I have now been with that devoted man for twenty five years. The first 10 years were spent in a recovery that baffled even the most of experienced of medical professionals. I have undergone vaginal, abdominal, rectal, nasal, dental and inner ear reconstruction’s. My mind has become whole with only some small effects left by several small shirring tears in the inner brain tissue. This in itself is very rare for those who have know such violence and darkness. Many medical professionals have given God the credit for the amazing results they have witnessed. a few have come to know him through the relationship with me.

After seven years of rest we decided to begin our family. A dream I could not hold onto hope for. My faith that "His will be done" gave me the vision to pursue an adoption I was very extensively examined and found to be totally recovered having proven all phases of restoration. We were honored by the judge with our certification to adopt any child. . Our certification to adopt was an acknowledgment of a job well done. Three years later we adopted our second child.

It took a tenacity that is a gift given to me to keep my promise that someday I would tell on them for what they were doing.. A promise that helped me survive and more than that, to overcome. In my last hospitalization I was given by God a song that helped me through some of the darkest of memories to be exposed.

"For we’ve been made more than conquers through the blood of Jesus Christ, So hold on were getting stronger every day. There is no need for you to run away. Brother’s and sister’s well now the time for prayer cause don’t you know the battles all been won. For Jesus said there would be tribulation and He said that I have overcome."

I kept my promise. When I was surviving those dark days I swore that “if I don’t let them make me like them, and if I don’t let them make me crazy, I will give myself a life some day I promised. Through Gods divine mercy and grace I am alive and that promise was kept. I am loved. I am His. He is mine. I have known His love and I am profoundly grateful that He chose me before the very foundations of time.

The experiences I have known were not Gods fault, as to blame Him. I was under the authority of those who did not know him. I had the privilege of knowing evil with intimacy yet seeing righteousness and Love prevail. This privilege has afforded me many gifts talents and insights. I have intimately known the profound depth of Gods love.

I am reassured each morning with the gentle kiss on my forehead as my dear husband tinder’s me. The times are few now that I fall into the memory of those days in my dreams. I awake each morning to God's very real presence, with a flush of joy as my Daughter and Son call for Their Mother. As I open my eyes I see a palace where the peace of Christ abides with utter abundance.

I must reply to you Dear Anonymos

Anonymous said...

Your entire family should be taken out and shot. What a vial bunch of bastards they all must be. I pray to God that they haven't spawned future victims to replace you now that you are free. How could they stand idly by and let this abuse happen to you. May they all suffer horrible pain all of their days, may they never find the healing and freedom that you have come to know, for they could never wash your blood off their hands. I hope that when you ever see any of those siblings that you spit into their eyes as I would for you. May they be damned to Hell for eternity for all that you have suffered. I will pray for them to soon meet their maker in some horrible fashion. So that you may be free of them from the physical and spiritual sense. I am sorry for you that you had to grow up in such a family to be singled out by such vilianous people. Sister in God

August 19, 2007 2:11 PM

How Loving of you to have such a fight in your heart on my behalf.
I want to share with you my take on my journey. When at the hand of the evil I knew I made a vow. It went like this...If I don't let them make me crazy, If I don't let them make me like them...That I would give myself a life someday, I PROMISED.

Your response is a common rational response to evil. I must say that as the recollections were reveled and made known it was a pretty common response. I do yet still weep to hear it. My grief is that if I do not address this I error against you in sharing my story. You see Dear One, hate no mater how justified is a thief who takes away our very beauty. I have felt the things you have expressed and I despised what it did to my character. I became so angry so bitter and so resentful that God would even allow me to live through it that I yelled and cursed God. I not only had to suffer at the hands of those, but I also endured countless surgeries, sterility and pain that nearly took me from the presence of this earth via my own hand.

This is what came from all of that.

Ouch... this hurts to type and my heart is swelled inside of me.

I was under the will of another human doing, that person and or those people were devoid of their being. God does not interfere with free choice it is against his very nature(when I came out from under their authority I made my choice).They had given themselves over to evil that was generations old. They too at on time or another were under the hand of those who came before them. This is in no way to excuse them, in no way! God kept my spirit while I endured these things.

It would be my heart that my entire family be able to be whole. I was not completely singled out. Each member knew damage from such evil experiences. The addictions my siblings suffer are endless and relentless, but without healing they remain so as to save them the torment of the knowledge of the truth. It could cause insanity. I want for all of them the same restoration but few of them will ever know it, they too have all suffered and have managed through denial , for the most part, to stay alive and raise their own families (most of which have fallen apart). The evil has been subdued and the culture stopped here (in this generation yet I am sure it is continuing in the U.S.A.). All of those whose hand I suffered at, are dead. Everyone of them I was able to face, and confront; admitted to it and so I found much justice. Those that I did not face, who died before hand, tormented my mind. Until I grew out, of the hateful angry image of them, with a large rock around their neck at the bottom of the sea; and into the sorrow of how hard they fell from the place of Gods love for all of eternity
It grieves (to the point of physical illness) me to think of the torment due to them through out eternity.
I weep at this line because you see Dear Heart I WIN! This sorrow led me to the healing of how badly they betrayed me. I lose if I HATE (the soul of those) . They win if I hate( them)! I refuse to let them win! I hate what they did! that is different. It is in that sheer tenacity that I kept sane! Through Gods merciful loving kindness, that I kept sane through all the restoration and recovery that I fought so long and hard for. It was very hard friends fell to suicide around me. I was given the best medical help available and many are not. I had a man who loved and stood with me through it all. Few do.

I was not spawned. I heard that, however, all my youth that I came out from under a rock. I was hurt by that comment, however I understand from where you were coming with it. It was the evil that prevailed that was spawned and flourish. It is said that when good men do nothing evil will flourish. That is why I share my journey that good men and women might stand up to evil with good. The generations stopped here! I stopped them, this being my greatest achievement. Through telling and not keeping their secretes, my Mother my eldest Sister both came forth. The police in the canyon when I reported the murder said that another had come forth justs weeks before me and told the same thing! That is when I understood the power of the denial that kept the sanity for others. That denial I understand to be mercy.

What I would, you do for me, is to pray for their freedom. It is my heart that they too get to "know" Love, Gods love in this life and repentance too. I choose to forgive and to understand. It is written that it is for a lack of knowledge that we perish. It is my hope that they not perish but live. At the very least throughout eternity free like me. Darling, I recant damning them to hell, I recant the horrible curse, ( as if, that would make me any less like my true enemy). No be it never so. Please Pray for them that repentance, forgiveness and restoration be theirs. Sweetest One, I am free from them physically and spiritually if I keep myself unstained from this world and the ways of it. If not, darkness wins over me.

Thank you for your warm regards and regrets of my journey I am grateful for such compassion. They were villainous and choose the way of ignorance and all evils, but how can I be without guilt if I hate. I would be guilty, for if you hate another you are guilty of bloodshed.

I like who I am now. My hands are clean and my eye is clear. I have a wonderful life. I still suffer a lot of physical pain and will watch it take away much through my remaining years. They can not take away WHO I AM. I will not let them. Don't you let them either. Keep clear and clean. Let my story support Good.

The events do not define who I am,
I DO.
In HIS loving Arms
Be embraced
Donetta

It is with great risk.

It was at great risk that I offer a glimpse into the yesteryear of my life.
What am I risking ?
The absence of your presence and the judgment of your possible views . I also risk your pity, I do not want that. Sympathy is a different issue. That you not however simply sympathize with me, but with all of those who walk wounded. That might even be yourself. If you can all do that kindness will rule!
It has now been 20 years that I have been a whole human being. Wounded yet whole and healed. It is my hope that to share the HIStory of my journey that hope might be afforded those who need hope. Courage to those who need the strength to believe that restoration is more than possible it is a promise.
Many years back 26 years now, I set my love upon God (Psalm 91). He has always been there for me even during the years that humanity betrayed me and the enemy pursued me. He is my constant.
This blog is about the past and the process to come into this present joy.