Months of Activity

The time of challenge is finally mellowing. In August I had a total Knee replacement. After 23 days in a nursing home I was wrecked. I was physically not sexually violated and made to be a threat to the center. They treated me as they liked to remove all credibility they could. This is a common for folks who are survivors left with diagnosis like PTSD. We get labeled by them. They will use all against us, as if we are the week. I was dumb founded at the unethical behavior and filed grievance with the state medical board. Being delivered over to the center while only two days after surgery; papers placed before me with a little check mark in a box that gave them all the legal leverage to do whatever they pleased.
The people on floor were very respectful for the greatest part. It was just too stressful during a time that was set aside for me to heal. So now into my fifth month of recovering my leg my soul is settled better within me. It was an experience I hope to never see anyone repeat. I almost lost the use of my leg due to neglect on top of everything. Left for many hours several times without proper pain medication because they forgot to order it!

Stay with your loved one when you admit them into any care facility. My husband had to work and care for our kids. There was eventually a woman who was an occupational therapist who stood at my side when she too was appalled by the lack of humanity. I fought hard, there was a police man even in my room taking a statement, adult protective services as well. It was an awful mess. It almost broke me. Lies are like that and those with financial defensiveness will stop at nothing to step on another to rise them-self into an unjust stance.

Well now here I am almost half way healed in leg. My mind calmed, my heart returned into full duty as wife and mother. Actually a full time home schooling mother of a 5th and 7th grader. Hard work! I am using a charter online school that supplies the curriculum. We will have aims testing in a few weeks. My children need this time to heal. I was gone for a month and so out of it with medications (knee replacement - PAIN). Pain like you would not believe until at least month four. It is much better than it was but they say it take a year. The kids are asleep on our bedroom floor. They are healing. Before my knee I was diagnosed with the CVID that is every four weeks a six hour infusion of plasma. This was the thing that was slowly killing me. My numbers are up and health is mine with a guarded fourth week as to avoid exposure to infections. Like a true battle to win this has been an enduring fight. The kids see me and they are mindful. They are really wonderful little people with the hardships of attachment deficit disorder. Me going through all of this is hard for them. So they are a major focus. My main main focus.

The day is done and rest is coming to the dark of night. It is a good thing that all the dust is settling.


Months ahead hold many missions, pray I am competent to meet them.

Building Character when overwhelmed

Long time no see here

This has been a very overwhelming time for me.
Many major changes in my life due to a illness that changes the very way of life.
I was diagnosed with CVID common veritable immune disorder. I have had an IV port placed in my chest to have infusions of gamma globulin every 4 weeks. It is a six hour process. I have an awesome nurse.

She has come to greatly respect the nuance of the human body when it comes to being a torture survivor. At first my body wanted nothing to do with her needles IV's entering my veins. She would get the vein, then the valve would shut down. many months this meant 5 sticks to start the infusions. The stress was getting to all of us. That is why the surgery for a port implant was necessary.

My sister Midge who was the one who came forward 3 years into my recovery also saved my life in her dying. This has been a journey. Her death was what raised a flag to a doctor that God alone had provided.
It took some doing to get my being around the reality of what a gift I was given. I may not of lived much longer had this continues to be misdiagnosed. I spent a life time of "it shouldn't" by doctors who had no clue as to this rare disorder. Our allergist 'happened'  :) to intern at a university that studied Primary Immune Disorders. One in 50,000 people. Folks in my generation were never tested. Babies are now so if the have failure to thrive. I am very vulnerable to bacteria do to a subclass of the disorder.

My life had come to a time when I have to slow down. It is a real change as I turn 50 with a monthly schedule that will run low the more stress or work I do. So I have been learning to pace myself. I will not kid you depression has been a ghost on my shoulder. The PTSD came into play as well causing me to have to increase my stress medications.  Now all things are pretty much regulated.

My emotions have run the gamete. Now the dust is settling. My heart although filled with gratitude is also sad. It is a strange thing to have this port in my chest. Three little nubs mark the center of it for needle location. So I feel a bit strange with it. My skin is thin so it is really obvious. Using a bra that holds my assets up helps.
My health has really improved my immune system is being restored after being completely depleted.

I have pulled away over the last several months just overwhelmed. I'll come on home into who I am. I'll overcome as I always have. This time it was just a bit much.

Stress

Stress. Stress initiates the release of a variety of hormones that make your pulse race and cause your blood pressure to rise. The hormone cortisol, released to lessen these effects, also creates problems when it remains chronically elevated. Try practicing relaxation techniques to help manage stress, and get enough sleep every night. 

I read an article in a health publication this morning. So alright it is true yep the effects are real.

So kids do this...address the cortisol NOW

Lamictal is a very useful tool or medication. It took a good 30 years for anyone to offer anything to help this cortisol flush to stop. This medication really has changed my daily life. That flush of cortisol made me someone else it left me an angry reactor, the shaking of frustration left me exposed to blowups and in-congruent responses. Embarrassed low self esteem and so on.

TEND TO IT
This does not have to be left to it's devices. The inflammation caused to our body is lasting so stop and tend to it.
You Matter

I often use essence oils like this one

click on image