I was the illegitimate, last child, of eight, born in 1961, into the generational curse of white supremacy and satanic worship. My Mother was sold a white slave in the back hills of Tennessee. My elder sister left at 18, I took over her role on the alter. It was the intimacy of torture that caused me to meet God's angels when I was a very young child. On the alter of Satan lay my body when Gods angels came and took my spirit to the forest places. I experienced such brutality as to be unspeakable. I have known the worst of humanity! It was there that I first knew also of love and safety. For God caused me to be free from the body that those who were workers of darkness were all but destroying. Abuse unparalleled was my existence with no human rescuer. Were it not for the forest angel and many other spiritual servants of God who kept me strangely dis-connected when it was necessary I would have gone mad. They were my friends. You see, I was as a child under the authority of those who in their own free will chose death. They choose to worship Satan practice his rituals and pursue the wicked gain . They were blinded by the perverse lie they had chosen to believed.
Yet I was chosen by Him to survive. Because I had known his name. And I called upon Him. I don’t know just how I knew his name when I was so little. But somehow someone, even perhaps He Himself introduced me.
Psalm 91:
I turned 20 in1981, with a bible in hand, in danger, and psalm 91 in my heart. Suicide was my morning mission if this failed me. I decided to have a yard sale, that day a woman named Leslie came and after sharing her concern for me feeding my body she gave me an avocado. She feed my starving body then, she fed my spirit. She lay an open bible upon my lap it was opened to the reference of John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whoever would believe upon him would not perish but have everlasting life.
Many events happened in that next two weeks of my life. The most significant was a literal battle over my soul. After several hours of war between the heavens, God said it is finished she is mine you can’t have her. I have a purpose for her she is mine. My body had raised men who were holding it down. It had flailed on stone and no bruise had been left. I am His!
The next several years had included most significantly a prayer that all I wanted was a home of my own and a man that loved God. I have now been with that devoted man for twenty five years. The first 10 years were spent in a recovery that baffled even the most of experienced of medical professionals. I have undergone vaginal, abdominal, rectal, nasal, dental and inner ear reconstruction’s. My mind has become whole with only some small effects left by several small shirring tears in the inner brain tissue. This in itself is very rare for those who have know such violence and darkness. Many medical professionals have given God the credit for the amazing results they have witnessed. a few have come to know him through the relationship with me.
After seven years of rest we decided to begin our family. A dream I could not hold onto hope for. My faith that "His will be done" gave me the vision to pursue an adoption I was very extensively examined and found to be totally recovered having proven all phases of restoration. We were honored by the judge with our certification to adopt any child. . Our certification to adopt was an acknowledgment of a job well done. Three years later we adopted our second child.
It took a tenacity that is a gift given to me to keep my promise that someday I would tell on them for what they were doing.. A promise that helped me survive and more than that, to overcome. In my last hospitalization I was given by God a song that helped me through some of the darkest of memories to be exposed.
I kept my promise. When I was surviving those dark days I swore that “if I don’t let them make me like them, and if I don’t let them make me crazy, I will give myself a life some day I promised. Through Gods divine mercy and grace I am alive and that promise was kept. I am loved. I am His. He is mine. I have known His love and I am profoundly grateful that He chose me before the very foundations of time.
The experiences I have known were not Gods fault, as to blame Him. I was under the authority of those who did not know him. I had the privilege of knowing evil with intimacy yet seeing righteousness and Love prevail. This privilege has afforded me many gifts talents and insights. I have intimately known the profound depth of Gods love.
I am reassured each morning with the gentle kiss on my forehead as my dear husband tinder’s me. The times are few now that I fall into the memory of those days in my dreams. I awake each morning to God's very real presence, with a flush of joy as my Daughter and Son call for Their Mother. As I open my eyes I see a palace where the peace of Christ abides with utter abundance.
