Thursday, August 30, 2007
2. A Courageous Blogger award goes to Donetta over at A Life Uncommon and A Life Restored.
Donetta is a very courageous woman. Her bloggings of her journey through life is heart touching. Her fierce love of her family is inspiring. She strives to live the life she so deserves. I admire her very much. I am sure she also has one of these awards, but when I think of courage...I think of Donetta.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Maya Angelou's Inaugural Poem
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed, Marked the mastodon.
The dinosaur, who left dry tokens
Of their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully, Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow.
I will give you no more hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than The angels, have crouched too long in The bruising darkness,
Have lain too long
Face down in ignorance.
Your mouths spilling words
Armed for slaughter.
The Rock cries out today, you may stand on me, But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song,
Come rest here by my side.
Each of you a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet, today I call you to my riverside, If you will study war no more. Come,
Clad in peace and I will sing the songs The Creator gave to me when I and the Tree and the stone were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your Brow and when you yet knew you still Knew nothing.
The River sings and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to The singing River and the wise Rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew The African and Native American, the Sioux, The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh, The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher, The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher. They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the Tree.
Today, the first and last of every Tree Speaks to humankind. Come to me, here beside the River.
Plant yourself beside me, here beside the River.
Each of you, descendant of some passed On traveller, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name, you
Pawnee, Apache and Seneca, you
Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then Forced on bloody feet, left me to the employment of Other seekers--desperate for gain,
Starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Swede, the German, the Scot ... You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am the Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.
I, the Rock, I the River, I the Tree I am yours--your Passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain, Cannot be unlived, and if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes upon
The day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands.
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space to place new steps of change. Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out upon me, the
Rock, the River, the Tree, your country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out And into your sister's eyes, into
Your brother's face, your country
And say simply
The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hill for the caged bird
sings of freedom
The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I think of Anonymous and am concerned about her/his heart, if they are alright?
I love when I feel good, I love walking and not hurting. Or when The storm is off of my dome. It hurts and it makes me sad too feel it. I just want the remnants to stop sometimes. I am fighting self pity. I.. I want to win this one and the kids are out in 45 minutes I don't want to be like this for them.
This too shall pass :)
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Your entire family should be taken out and shot. What a vial bunch of bastards they all must be. I pray to God that they haven't spawned future victims to replace you now that you are free. How could they stand idly by and let this abuse happen to you. May they all suffer horrible pain all of their days, may they never find the healing and freedom that you have come to know, for they could never wash your blood off their hands. I hope that when you ever see any of those siblings that you spit into their eyes as I would for you. May they be damned to Hell for eternity for all that you have suffered. I will pray for them to soon meet their maker in some horrible fashion. So that you may be free of them from the physical and spiritual sense. I am sorry for you that you had to grow up in such a family to be singled out by such vilianous people. Sister in God
August 19, 2007 2:11 PM
How Loving of you to have such a fight in your heart on my behalf.
I want to share with you my take on my journey. When at the hand of the evil I knew I made a vow. It went like this...If I don't let them make me crazy, If I don't let them make me like them...That I would give myself a life someday, I PROMISED.
Your response is a common rational response to evil. I must say that as the recollections were reveled and made known it was a pretty common response. I do yet still weep to hear it. My grief is that if I do not address this I error against you in sharing my story. You see Dear One, hate no mater how justified is a thief who takes away our very beauty. I have felt the things you have expressed and I despised what it did to my character. I became so angry so bitter and so resentful that God would even allow me to live through it that I yelled and cursed God. I not only had to suffer at the hands of those, but I also endured countless surgeries, sterility and pain that nearly took me from the presence of this earth via my own hand.
This is what came from all of that.
Ouch... this hurts to type and my heart is swelled inside of me.
I was under the will of another human doing, that person and or those people were devoid of their being. God does not interfere with free choice it is against his very nature(when I came out from under their authority I made my choice).They had given themselves over to evil that was generations old. They too at on time or another were under the hand of those who came before them. This is in no way to excuse them, in no way! God kept my spirit while I endured these things.
It would be my heart that my entire family be able to be whole. I was not completely singled out. Each member knew damage from such evil experiences. The addictions my siblings suffer are endless and relentless, but without healing they remain so as to save them the torment of the knowledge of the truth. It could cause insanity. I want for all of them the same restoration but few of them will ever know it, they too have all suffered and have managed through denial , for the most part, to stay alive and raise their own families (most of which have fallen apart). The evil has been subdued and the culture stopped here (in this generation yet I am sure it is continuing in the U.S.A.). All of those whose hand I suffered at, are dead. Everyone of them I was able to face, and confront; admitted to it and so I found much justice. Those that I did not face, who died before hand, tormented my mind. Until I grew out, of the hateful angry image of them, with a large rock around their neck at the bottom of the sea; and into the sorrow of how hard they fell from the place of Gods love for all of eternity
It grieves (to the point of physical illness) me to think of the torment due to them through out eternity.
I weep at this line because you see Dear Heart I WIN! This sorrow led me to the healing of how badly they betrayed me. I lose if I HATE (the soul of those) . They win if I hate( them)! I refuse to let them win! I hate what they did! that is different. It is in that sheer tenacity that I kept sane! Through Gods merciful loving kindness, that I kept sane through all the restoration and recovery that I fought so long and hard for. It was very hard friends fell to suicide around me. I was given the best medical help available and many are not. I had a man who loved and stood with me through it all. Few do.
I was not spawned. I heard that, however, all my youth that I came out from under a rock. I was hurt by that comment, however I understand from where you were coming with it. It was the evil that prevailed that was spawned and flourish. It is said that when good men do nothing evil will flourish. That is why I share my journey that good men and women might stand up to evil with good. The generations stopped here! I stopped them, this being my greatest achievement. Through telling and not keeping their secretes, my Mother my eldest Sister both came forth. The police in the canyon when I reported the murder said that another had come forth justs weeks before me and told the same thing! That is when I understood the power of the denial that kept the sanity for others. That denial I understand to be mercy.
What I would, you do for me, is to pray for their freedom. It is my heart that they too get to "know" Love, Gods love in this life and repentance too. I choose to forgive and to understand. It is written that it is for a lack of knowledge that we perish. It is my hope that they not perish but live. At the very least throughout eternity free like me. Darling, I recant damning them to hell, I recant the horrible curse, ( as if, that would make me any less like my true enemy). No be it never so. Please Pray for them that repentance, forgiveness and restoration be theirs. Sweetest One, I am free from them physically and spiritually if I keep myself unstained from this world and the ways of it. If not, darkness wins over me.
Thank you for your warm regards and regrets of my journey I am grateful for such compassion. They were villainous and choose the way of ignorance and all evils, but how can I be without guilt if I hate. I would be guilty, for if you hate another you are guilty of bloodshed.
I like who I am now. My hands are clean and my eye is clear. I have a wonderful life. I still suffer a lot of physical pain and will watch it take away much through my remaining years. They can not take away WHO I AM. I will not let them. Don't you let them either. Keep clear and clean. Let my story support Good.
The events do not define who I am,
In HIS loving Arms
Friday, August 3, 2007
dropped on the floor.
The tappet dogs
across the laminate
I lay my head upon a kitchen table
Touching the pain
How I am able?
A child's boo boo
to be consoled
Pain within me
to be placed on hold.
"I love you Momma"...
"Your the best"...
to be untold.