Walking Wounded

Sunday, August 19, 2007

I must reply to you Dear Anonymos

Anonymous said...

Your entire family should be taken out and shot. What a vial bunch of bastards they all must be. I pray to God that they haven't spawned future victims to replace you now that you are free. How could they stand idly by and let this abuse happen to you. May they all suffer horrible pain all of their days, may they never find the healing and freedom that you have come to know, for they could never wash your blood off their hands. I hope that when you ever see any of those siblings that you spit into their eyes as I would for you. May they be damned to Hell for eternity for all that you have suffered. I will pray for them to soon meet their maker in some horrible fashion. So that you may be free of them from the physical and spiritual sense. I am sorry for you that you had to grow up in such a family to be singled out by such vilianous people. Sister in God

August 19, 2007 2:11 PM

How Loving of you to have such a fight in your heart on my behalf.
I want to share with you my take on my journey. When at the hand of the evil I knew I made a vow. It went like this...If I don't let them make me crazy, If I don't let them make me like them...That I would give myself a life someday, I PROMISED.

Your response is a common rational response to evil. I must say that as the recollections were reveled and made known it was a pretty common response. I do yet still weep to hear it. My grief is that if I do not address this I error against you in sharing my story. You see Dear One, hate no mater how justified is a thief who takes away our very beauty. I have felt the things you have expressed and I despised what it did to my character. I became so angry so bitter and so resentful that God would even allow me to live through it that I yelled and cursed God. I not only had to suffer at the hands of those, but I also endured countless surgeries, sterility and pain that nearly took me from the presence of this earth via my own hand.

This is what came from all of that.

Ouch... this hurts to type and my heart is swelled inside of me.

I was under the will of another human doing, that person and or those people were devoid of their being. God does not interfere with free choice it is against his very nature(when I came out from under their authority I made my choice).They had given themselves over to evil that was generations old. They too at on time or another were under the hand of those who came before them. This is in no way to excuse them, in no way! God kept my spirit while I endured these things.

It would be my heart that my entire family be able to be whole. I was not completely singled out. Each member knew damage from such evil experiences. The addictions my siblings suffer are endless and relentless, but without healing they remain so as to save them the torment of the knowledge of the truth. It could cause insanity. I want for all of them the same restoration but few of them will ever know it, they too have all suffered and have managed through denial , for the most part, to stay alive and raise their own families (most of which have fallen apart). The evil has been subdued and the culture stopped here (in this generation yet I am sure it is continuing in the U.S.A.). All of those whose hand I suffered at, are dead. Everyone of them I was able to face, and confront; admitted to it and so I found much justice. Those that I did not face, who died before hand, tormented my mind. Until I grew out, of the hateful angry image of them, with a large rock around their neck at the bottom of the sea; and into the sorrow of how hard they fell from the place of Gods love for all of eternity
It grieves (to the point of physical illness) me to think of the torment due to them through out eternity.
I weep at this line because you see Dear Heart I WIN! This sorrow led me to the healing of how badly they betrayed me. I lose if I HATE (the soul of those) . They win if I hate( them)! I refuse to let them win! I hate what they did! that is different. It is in that sheer tenacity that I kept sane! Through Gods merciful loving kindness, that I kept sane through all the restoration and recovery that I fought so long and hard for. It was very hard friends fell to suicide around me. I was given the best medical help available and many are not. I had a man who loved and stood with me through it all. Few do.

I was not spawned. I heard that, however, all my youth that I came out from under a rock. I was hurt by that comment, however I understand from where you were coming with it. It was the evil that prevailed that was spawned and flourish. It is said that when good men do nothing evil will flourish. That is why I share my journey that good men and women might stand up to evil with good. The generations stopped here! I stopped them, this being my greatest achievement. Through telling and not keeping their secretes, my Mother my eldest Sister both came forth. The police in the canyon when I reported the murder said that another had come forth justs weeks before me and told the same thing! That is when I understood the power of the denial that kept the sanity for others. That denial I understand to be mercy.

What I would, you do for me, is to pray for their freedom. It is my heart that they too get to "know" Love, Gods love in this life and repentance too. I choose to forgive and to understand. It is written that it is for a lack of knowledge that we perish. It is my hope that they not perish but live. At the very least throughout eternity free like me. Darling, I recant damning them to hell, I recant the horrible curse, ( as if, that would make me any less like my true enemy). No be it never so. Please Pray for them that repentance, forgiveness and restoration be theirs. Sweetest One, I am free from them physically and spiritually if I keep myself unstained from this world and the ways of it. If not, darkness wins over me.

Thank you for your warm regards and regrets of my journey I am grateful for such compassion. They were villainous and choose the way of ignorance and all evils, but how can I be without guilt if I hate. I would be guilty, for if you hate another you are guilty of bloodshed.

I like who I am now. My hands are clean and my eye is clear. I have a wonderful life. I still suffer a lot of physical pain and will watch it take away much through my remaining years. They can not take away WHO I AM. I will not let them. Don't you let them either. Keep clear and clean. Let my story support Good.

The events do not define who I am,

In HIS loving Arms
Be embraced


Corey~living and loving said...

With Every post I realize how truly brave you are. Such hard things to talk about, and certainly not easy to read. You touch my heart. You are such a lovely person. You deserve the happiest of times.....may they come to you!

Kendra said...

oh my goodness what a terrible comment but that was a great response! i once had a negative comment, but nothing to that level.

Donetta said...

I believe Anonymous meant well and has a kindness. It is maddening to hear and to have known harm.

Denise said...

You are true beauty defined my precious friend. I have really missed reading your blog, I love you.

Corey~living and loving said...

Often people think they know what others need. They think that by being angry FOR them, they are helping. I do believe that Anonymous was trying to show you kindness. I do believe they had good intentions. They just didn't know what you needed.
There was a time in my life that I had to be sure to tell those that loved me how to help me. I had to tell them that I didn't need them to be angry for me. Anger is wasted energy, and it only stole from me strength.
I learned that people just need to ask how to help. Not assume.

Amrita said...

Dear Donetta this is not a superficial response, but full of grace and what a testimony of "a life restored" This is what happens when God moves.

Pam said...

Getting caught up here. I'm sure "Anonomous" had good intentions, but your response shows a love and forgiveness that only Christ can give. I am glad that you are not living in the past, but that you have been made a new creature, and you are not letting your past drag down your present or future!

Songs of my heart