Walking Wounded

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Forest Angel

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Some time back it was requested of me to tell you more about the Forest Angel.
Now Gods ways far exceed my understanding, but more than anything they are the ways of love. The lives we live here are only limited by the minds we close to the things that are holy. It is with some courage that this pearl will be placed before your eyes for this is a HOLY thing.

I have shared parts of my history.

To tell others of her is to expose her to scrutiny and judgment under which non could hold her. For she is of God and by God and for God. As I am. 
Recently while Dove was recovering as was I from the knee injections last Thursday the children and I  watched this movie called the 'KID'. My children and I speak of the deeper things of life daily. They know that the freedom is there for then to ask of such things without bias coloring the end of events. They also are free to share the things within them in such a way. We are willing to HEAR them, thus they give us ear as well. In the movie the 'kid comes to help the man who then discovers that he as his elder self is helping life to bear the fruits that are only divided by a time line. You would really need to watch the movie. The point is that life is a line of time that is most often only accepted as a linear list of events.
Now certainly that makes all the since in the world for folks to see days that way. From beginning to end. Even the prophets of old were rejected most often by those who thought they had it all figured out. In the end the blindness and unwillingness to open ones eyes brought great consequences even to nations.

The story of the Forest Angel is one such experience in this woman's life. My life has not been a life defined by linear terms. The effects of my years have yes created a being that is effected and restored yes in a time line of days, months years and yes even decades. 

When we had watched the film the query was if I had ever known of such things to have really happened  and in all truth I replied. Telling the children that I too have truly experience such things only in somewhat of a reverse. Telling them if they ever wanted to know I would be perfectly willing to explain if they wanted me too. The day before yesterday the kids and I had a very long 50 mile round trip to visit their Aunt in the hospital. When we were returning home on the freeway from the back seat asked the question from Dash "remember when you said I could ask about that thing that you knew like the movie 'the kid'? could you tell us?"

I did so...and spoke

When as a child terrible things happened one was particularity gruesome and violent.Asking them if they remember the movie Chronicles of Narnia and the stone table?, they affirmed so. As a child harm came to me on a stone table. Very bad things occurred and one was so terrible that I could no longer stay in my body or soul and I became pure spirit. It was when during this event that they killed a rabbit above me that an Angel took me away in Spirit and Mind into the forest where I played with the other rabbits. They trusted me, the rabbits and felt safe near me as I knelt. She the Forest Angel stood there as a sentential watching over me this child of mercy and favor. It was as if her love was a winged clutch around us there watching over us and stopping the truth of those images of what was occurring to the body, my body. The body of a child violated and being raped. 
Now lately the kids have used the language of/or word 'rape' in ignorance. Actually earlier in the day I confronted their ignorance with a clear explanation of what it meant to rape or be raped. They must know the words they use. The use of it in their speech was so dangerous a notion that they must understand it's intensity.

The Forest Angel kept my Spirit and Mind from the destruction occurring to my Body. Destruction that to this day effects my health. Then I told them of the thing that most amazed me about the Forest Angel. 

She was me all grown into a young woman, come to protect me as a child.

It was only years later into and after the hardest parts of my recovery from torture and abuse that I was shown with such holiness this fact. I could not understand it. No man or woman taught it to me . It was an innate knowledge. 
A Holy thing.

I am the her, the Forest Angel and have ever longed to return to the forest. It is a huge part of who I am. I have been called the piper to the children. A gift has been upon me that children feel safe near me. I have all my years had a gift with the wild creatures that they would come to me. Out in the parks wild birds would land on me. Ducks would rest beside me with their clutch of ducklings under their wing. Hummingbirds will come to me within inches and speak with me. Just the other day at the zoo Dove stood amazed as I taught her to be still. We were watching the otters. They were speaking with me right there in front of my child while we were surrounded by hordes of visitors. Dove saw her, me the Forest Angel. Not many do any more. That part of who I am has been housed and sheltered from the onslaught of harsh reality though temporal. It has caused her, me to withdraw from time and place. It is what leaves me unhappy, changed from what many of you knew of me years hence.
She is I am still her, but I am lost. 
Religion, assertion of judgments or fear there of has left me wanting for a different time. A different place where kindness ruled and folks were again humble. We all just don't really KNOW the mind of God. How could any of us think that we have Him all figured out.
Darkness travels to expel the light, to extinguish it. This flicker this flame that I am...under a bushel still yet remains.
Perhaps in this telling of the Forest Angel it might be placed, my light, a little brighter to shine out some of the darkness. It does within my little family. Beyond that she remains...now guarded years later by me the old sage.




an·gel  (njl)n.
1. A typically benevolent celestial being that acts as an intermediary between heaven and earth, especially in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Zoroastrianism.
2. A representation of such a being, especially in Christianity, conventionally in the image of a human figure with a halo and wings.
3. angels Christianity The last of the nine orders of angels in medieval angelology. From the highest to the lowest in rank, the orders are: seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities, archangels, and angels.
4. A guardian spirit or guiding influence.
5.
a. A kind and lovable person.
b. One who manifests goodness, purity, and selflessness.

3 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Came by to give you a hug. Blessings.

Bob said...

Donetta,
I am so glad you are back posting again. We all need your wisdom.

Dria said...

Good morning Donetta,

I stumbled across your blog by accident. I was renaming my own blog. A Restored Life.. taken.... An Abundant life... taken.. Life Abundantly... taken... and then A Life Restored... taken. But, for some reason I found myself drawn to your blog.

We have some things in common it seems. We both have adopted children with special needs. We both survived a childhood few would dare discuss. However, the thing we have most in common is something I have never heard anyone else say. We both had supernatural help durin our time of trouble. I saw a "light" and would feel comfort when the light was there. I spoke to the light and the light was my friend. I later learned as an adult that the light was the presence of God. Not the God that many turn to in religion form, but the God that has a mind and a will and wants to know and speak to me personally. My guess is that you probably understand. May God continue to heal you in miraculous ways and use your pain. May he take your ashes and give you beauty.

Songs of my heart