Walking Wounded

Monday, October 26, 2009

Holloween and full moons, the early years. re post

Originally posted in 2007
This is an attempt to overcome fear of rejection and to overcome fear of exposing the truth!

I have offended many over the years by telling them what holloween and full moons were like for me as a kid. Who am I, is my big question. One who lets darkness win through silence, or one who overcomes darkness by exposing it to the light. I am the latter!

Some of my earliest memories of the ceremony and worship of the dark side that I experienced here follows.
One of the hardest involved being up in the canyon at the lodge where they gathered. Very late into the night of the moons shining upon them they would begin. After the normal families left and the "die hards" lit the bonfire and continued to binge on the feasts and drink the hard booze it would commence. There was a man who was the leader. He would "all gather, lets get this thing on the road" and cheers would sound up as the wild tones would echo. I and other kids, children of the others there were in a cabin like building. The big kids would then get the little kid that was chosen by the adults. That night it was me.

Folks say that Oct.31 is just an innocent night I stand to differ!

In a cloth bag the big kids (those I now feel most sorry for), placed me. Like well humored or ill humored bullies I was spun around and dizzy. I was laughing innocently ,yet then fear and anger; they would not let me out. The bag was getting dusty for it was drug through the camp. I began to hurt and the air in the bag was stuffy. It stopped That man he was the big man who was the talker and leader of it. He opened it up and every one cheered! he smiled at me. "Let me get you out of there..." smiling at me I felt safe from the bullies. He lifted me up high on the stone table. Everyone cheered and laughed. I was so tired and after a drink, I laid down. He had a bunny. I liked the bunny a lot. He was my friend and he was so soft he was scared. I got very sleepy from the drink. They were all around the table looking at me. Then the big boys were told they had a privilege and a responsibility they felt proud,and stood there. The cup was gold and it was above my face. The bunny screaming and then silent. I went away with him and watched from the forest with the Forest Angel. She was nice and the bunny was in a different body cause the other one was being drained into the cup. I was in a shadow body cause my other one was still on the table.
They took her clothes off she was pretty and tiny. The bunny gave her a drink from the cup and everyone had a sip too. I did not like it. The songs were there yukky songs and looking at the moon. I stayed with Forest Angel, she was nice.
The body on the table had brown hair that was bad she had to be made white. The big boys made her white on both sides and it hurt her, they raped me, a lot.
The man said they did well to whiten me. The girls (my) mom was over at the fire she had food dripping at her mouth and her husband was drunk, bad drunk, over at the fire. They were praised for their offering. The little girl bled. I was hurt bad. Then they wrapped me in the blanket and the Forest Angel let go of my hand and I was her again.
I could not get clean enough. It burnt the hot water just would not take it all away off of me and out of me and I just died there, inside, no more to be.
The next day I then began again. A new girl who nobody could know . I just hid behind my eyes. I was only a little girl.
That is what it means to me.

I hate holloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had been chosen weeks before and they worked on my parents to allow it to happen to me.
I was in recovery for three years when I was ready to commit suicide thinking I must be crazy to remember such things when my sister 18 years elder came forward and apologized for not coming forward sooner. I had given her the courage to do so.
I am 17 years out now and I still have to be removed to tell you of the deeds done in darkness.
It is not an innocent night!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somewhere a family is being set up, a child is being primed. Children are scared for life when used as the offenders. This is done to keep witnesses silent!!!


Denise said...

I praise God for you my friend. Thank you for your bravery, and standing up for your beliefs. I love you.

Steve said...

Your journey is powerful and difficult. It has made you even more than you would have otherwise been. Never give away that which has been bought with such a high price. Your experience, knowledge and wisdom is precious and deep. Do not compromise with the world; allow it to flow past your firmly planted feet.

I salute you, I admire you, I love you.


Debbie said...

Donetta I commend you today for this huge step you have taken. You are an overcomer and God will continue to walk with you and encourage you day by day. I pray for you today and will continue to pray for you daily. Just know that your testimony is going to be used to help others who have experienced similar situations.

Blessings and love.

Anonymous said...

Blessed friend, you are brave and strong for your testimony. I am praying with you and for you.

Amrita said...

My dear friend, my heart bleds for you. This is what I 've only read about in books and newspapers.
My dear sister God has rescued you from such deep darkness, all glory to His name.
in India such types of satanic rituals are common, amomg the pagan religions.Child sacrifice takes place.
have you read Mark Buebeck 's books?
May the Holy Spirit gaurd you constantly

Bob said...

Your writing is riveting. You are so amazing, to be able to find the strength to become the person you have become. Have any of those bastards been prosecuted?

Anonymous said...

My dear,
What you have been through is so horrible that it can barely be imagined. It is an encouragement to know that your life has been restored by the Lord Jesus. Salvation is the key to being made a new. You are a new person once you are saved, (Acts 2). So walk in the authority that God has given you.

My sister was almost snatched away one day before Halloween by witches some years ago. But the Lord suffered for it not to happen. My mother had asked a neighbor to pick my sister up. The women didn't bring my sister home until well after nightfall. My sister said she had been taken to McDonalds. As they were there a bunch of people in long black robes had stared at her and talked about her with the woman while she ate a snack. But the woman, after some time took her home, (Thank You Jesus). We never saw that woman again, her daughter had went to the same school they left and never came back. Keep this blog posted so that others can know the truth about that cursed day.

Ian said...

God bless you for your testimony. Unfortunately too many Americans don't believe this sick stuff actually goes on in this day and age. Praise God that he delivers us from evil and may he bless you with continued courage to speak out and to share your experiences with others so that they may flee from the god of this world and find salvation in Jesus.

Julie said...

I came here from Tiffany's blog. I loved the Zebra and also saw the butterfly bracelet on one of your other blogs. It is stunning as well.

I had NO idea such things happened. I am one of those people that has never heard. Thank you for sharing your story.

I am so sorry for what happened to you.

LisaShaw said...


After your sharing a few things while at the Retreat, I wanted to come here and read your story. I just thank GOD for His amazing GRACE to deliver you and others from the evil that was being done.

I pray for all the captives to be set free in JESUS NAME! I pray for all the children still enduring the grip and torment of the enemy through the hands of people he is using. I pray for deliverance for all in Jesus Name and for healing of the mind, emotions and spirit of all who've been deeply hurt and wounded.

I love you.

LisaShaw said...

I just also watched your video and had to return to say, thank you for sharing yourself with us. I was deeply touched Donetta.

Just Be Real said...

Oh dear one I am truly moved by your words here. I am so very sorry for what you had endured.


Niki :-) said...

I remember speaking with you a few years ago about your life, your experiences, and found you once again through the AZ women's group that meets for lunch. they found me somehow and invited me to the lunch friday. Unfortunately, I cannot go. I work during the day. But I wanted to say HI and hope you are doing ok at this trying time of year for you. ♥
niki in mesa

David said...

oh my dear, how terrible and sad, sick is that horrid practice. I did not know there were such beasts among us.

Denise said...

The Father God has brought you through great tribulation.... HE continues to bring you strength.. I am so glad that you have the brave heart to speak out... Many would not! Bless your heart sweet sister...

constance said...

My dear friend, what a journey you have been on. I am just so thankful that the Lord has taken you and is holding you in His righteous right hand. Healing all of you deep dark wounds. He loves you so much and is so very proud of you and for the incredible woman you have become. Wow, I am so blessed to be able to call you my friend. Since I became a believer we never celebrated halloween, but our church does and our pastor said that it is a topic he won't address. Makes my heart sad. You are blessed and highly favored of God. I love you, Connie

ShootyMcBang said...

As this tragedy is discussed and shared with others that they be made aware, it is important that people realize that "pure evil" is alive and well. A huge number of pentagon staffers were found to have massive amounts of child porn on their computers. These computers are bought and paid for by the taxpayers of this country. They are our computer!!! That is pretty bad. But the worst part is that NOTHING has been or is being done about it.

Here is another mind blower. Don't take my word for it either. Do your own research. Here it is: Over 1,000,000 children worldwide go missing world wide. Never to be heard from again. That is over 2,000 children daily!!! Where are they going? I don't know but trying to wrap my mind around this makes me queasy. Know the adults that your children are around. If your child has reservations about ANY adult that they may have to be around find out why. Don't ignore them. Very very rarely will a child falsely accuse an adult of lewd behavior. If your child discusses such a situation with you just know that he/she wrenched their soul to find the courage to discuss it. If they are shut down they may never find the courage to bring it up again. If their is an adult(a man) that always makes himself available to "watch" your child for you then please listen to the air raid siren that should be blasting in your head telling you, "clue, clue, major clue", then consider yourself to have been clued in.

Once established in a person, sexuality doesn't change. I am sure there are exceptions. Heterosexuals will be heterosexual until they leave this world. Homosexuals will be homosexual for the duration of there visit here. Pedophilia is a sexuality and does not change and its origin is nothing less than evil.

The point I really want to make is that over 1,000,000 children disappear annually world wide never to be seen or heard from again.

Anonymous said...

I can't even make sense of this semi-literate blather. Was this written by a 5-year old?

Anonymous said...

I Would like to get hold of these ppl and I wouldn't report them to our twisted Evil peadophile breeding grounds, the police or child protective services as so often the criminals get away scott free from the crime. I would have a special way to deal with these animals, yet I think it prudent to keep my actual thoughts to myself.

Read the Franklin Cover-Up" by Ex-Senator John De-Camp. he explains about the many children in protective care (Grrrr) of our countries supposed guardian angels, Police and Parents and Child Protectors. Also go to this site. http://www.whale.to/c/dutroux_case5.html

Anonymous said...

I Would like to get hold of these ppl and I wouldn't report them to our twisted Evil peadophile breeding grounds, the police or child protective services as so often the criminals get away scott free from the crime. I would have a special way to deal with these animals, yet I think it prudent to keep my actual thoughts to myself.

Read the Franklin Cover-Up" by Ex-Senator John De-Camp. he explains about the many children in protective care (Grrrr) of our countries supposed guardian angels, Police and Parents and Child Protectors. Also go to this site. http://www.whale.to/c/dutroux_case5.html

Anonymous said...

This empowers the demons/aliens, and not humans. We need God and his angels to protect ourselves from such entities. Research on all religions shows how they have similar stories, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and how together they help understand our past, and the history of the demon/alien species, which God created before us. Things get more complicated, the more one does research, but if one just sticks to God, and no one else, then we can easily pass the test of this life, to be resurrected for the world to come, to have our own eternal home in heaven. Jesus said all the commandments can be summed up into two, the first is love God with all your strength, mind, and soul. And the second is to love all other humans as you love yourself, even if they persecute you, abuse you, use you, hit you, etc. Just think of the wisdom of that, if we show love to our enemies even if they persecute us, abuse us, use us, hit us, then things would not escalate to the proportion they have today of nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons arms race, and there would be a chance that they too would see the error in their ways, and join in ALSO taking such a cross - as Jesus whoever wants to be his follower must take up a cross like him - meaning sacrifice yourself to the persecution, abuse, violence, exploitation, etc. of others so that they would see how a world of hate and anger from wanting personal revenge, would leave us with worst persecution, war, exploitation. Jesus said that even if you are a slave, to be an obedient slave. Because this life is just the testing phase to separate the wheat from the tare/weed, as explained in Matthew 13. A tare/weed, spreads faster than wheat, and is not of any use compared to wheat, and ends up destroying wheat and other plants, meaning it does not know how to live without interfering with others. Similarly pagan societies spread fast, because of fornication, and they have constant conflict with neighboring countries and societies. This was how it was at the time of Noah, which is why God had to destroy the entire Earth, because pagan demon-worship and worship of desires spread so fast and seeks to overpower all other societies and beliefs. Similar to how Freemasons are so desperate to spread their satanist pagan secular, hedonist, and consumerist beliefs on all societies. At lodges of Freemason they get drunk, because this is an ancient pagan tradition. While getting drunk is against the word of the God of Abraham, whom Muslims, Christians, and Jews worship.

Walt said...

'May the LORD bless you and protect you. [25] May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. [26] May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.' Numbers 6:24-26 NLT

Anonymous said...

Really? You must be one of the kind of people who do such things. That is the ONLY "excuse" for your imbecilic comment. Make you feel powerful sicko? I hope you find Jesus, His Love, His Lordship, and His Grace and Forgiveness. Only Jesus and His Blood can make you new, but He can. He is Perfect, and Lord!

Songs of my heart