It is that week before the eve of hollows. I am sick with acid tummy ever seance the blunt force trauma to my belly from my daughters regression.
I am under so much discomfort in so many ways. . this family I have been helping is like old home week. I hate it when folks show them selves untrustworthy. It sickens me to be put in a place of having to suspect others of manipulation. I rather try to give others the benefit of the doubt. Now to feel threatened this week of all weeks with retaliation.
Now a week before, and the school mercifully is not doing the big Halloween parade. Just class parties.
My kids feel left out of the fun of trick or treating. I have two costumes to be prepared, only to find out there is no reason to unless I let them practice this thing. Dear God I hate that I understand...that I have the knowledge of what is happening this week to those victims who are being primed. I am undone Out of my skin. Creeping and crawling within a maze of the insanity of this world.
I want to go home. I do not want the argument of those who justify and ignore real truths. Who minimize and call it "just like out of the Movies"...Oh how evil practices deeds that are so foul that they get away with it because it is so "Unbelievable!"
I am undone.
My family of origin has a weeding of a niece tomorrow. I do not want to feel the memory and the presence of the spirit this week of all weeks. I hate 10-31 I wish they would just erase this whole week off of the calendar so I could live my life without the reliving the trauma.
My daughter came to me with a class request for a snack of her choice of 23 kids...she choose "candied Apples" . Well they have to be store bought. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Now tell me? the heart of the innocent. To them all things are innocent. They are not so to me, for I have known the heart of pure evil. Letting them be included with their hearts so innocent...God I do not want to expose them to evil. Can it truly be innocent just because they are. Can I find a true innocence to walk them door to door when I would be guilty in my own heart to do so.
I just want to go home tonight. No I will not do myself harm...I am just so very very tired of this memory and knowledge and role to educate to help perhaps the child who, this week, might be in the same role that I bore all those years ago.
I had a woman tell me that satanist just need to be allowed to live and let live. She spoke so ignorantly to me for she knew nothing of me. This was at a class where I was so enjoying an education in the arts.
Live and let live the satanic worshiper?
Will they let the little girl or boy who is being raped and made to drink blood Live
Hell NO! for to them to live is to inflict HELL!