Adult Attatchment Disorder

Attachment Disorder is rooted in childhood and, if left untreated at an early age, will carry through into adulthood and affect an individual's relationships and ability to negotiate through life.


This describes not only the characteristics of adult attachment disorder but the type of therapeutic regimen that may be used .

"Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy." "Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties."

"Depending on the genetic personality style of the individual and the early life events experienced, insecurely attached adults fall in one of two categories of insecure attachment:

AVOIDANT ---------
Intense anger and loss 
Hostile
Critical of others
Sensitive to blame
Lack of empathy
Views others as untrustworthy
Views others as undependable
Views self as unlovable or "too good" for others
Relationships feel either threatening to one's sense of control, not worth the effort, or both
Compulsive self-reliance
Passive withdrawal
Low levels of perceived support
Difficulty getting along with co-workers, often preferring to work alone
Work may provide a good excuse to avoid personal relations
Fear of closeness in relationships
Avoidance of intimacy
Unlikely to idealize the love relationship
Tendency toward Introjective depression (self critical)

ANXIOUS/AMBIVILENT ------------------

Compulsive Caregiving

Feel overinvolved and underappreciated

Rapid relationship breakups

Idealizing of others

Strong desire for partner to reciprocate in relationship

Desire for extensive contact and declarations of affections 

Overinvests his/her emotions in a relationship

Perceives relationships as imbalanced

Relationship is idealized

Preoccupation with relationship

Dependence on relationship

Heavy reliance on partner

Views partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available, sometimes not)

Perceives others as difficult to understand

Relationship is primary method by which one can experience a sense of security

Unlikely to view others as altruistic

Sensitive to rejection

Discomfort with anger

Extreme emotions

Jealous Possessive

Views self as unlovable

Suicide attempts

Mood swings

Tendency toward anaclitic depression (dependent depression)

GOALS OF THERAPY ----------------- Identify early losses Mourn the loss of that which never was but yearned for deeply Provide closure to the unresolved relationship longings with parental attachment figures Reorganize belief system and physiological reaction to attachment relationships "Gratefully, attachment styles are not fixed in stone and with either positive life experience or appropriate therapeutic intervention and a strong desire for change adults can alter their relationships and experience true intimacy and closeness."

One form of treatment may be...

ADULT INTENSIVE --------------- 3 hours of therapy per day Monday through Friday. "Homework" assignments designed for self-exploration may require time during the afternoon or evening. Alternate models of body/mind therapy may require time during the afternoons. Intimate partners are invited to join in therapy during part or all of treatment. Generally 6 to 10 therapy days are required, although in certain situations a shorter duration may be adequate.

I am going at it as a Part of the EDMR preparations.
She sees some of the symptoms in me.
Funny I have studied this extensively regarding kids.
It had crossed my mind if I might be struggling with this as a parent.
I am.
It isn't any wonder.
I do see however that I have come a long long way.
All of the things no longer amply to me but a few still yet do.
I do not want to stop until I am the best me I can become.
I owe it to myself and to my children..

If you as an adult are struggling in life with these symptoms consider looking into it to get help.

Your worth it.