Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wow!That is just awesome!
I have gained understanding in so many of the people who I have met through my abuse recovery who were so wounded that I was really left to see and think it is no wonder ....I wound not feel connected to the other gender either if I had known the journey they had. These were not the folks who needed to be hated, judged or ridiculed these were wounded people who only had affiliation from those who were "of the world " as they say.
A sense of belonging is innate to the human experience.
If we reject one another then it begs the question where do we belong?
Stand for what you believe in by example.
I (for all have sinned and fallen short) am redeemed only by unmerited grace and favor I have only that leg to brace me.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Self Esteem Affiliation
Journal of discovery
*I like to be with....strife free folks
* I like to be with people who...love others kindly yet have good boundaries
* I was a friend to someone when...I needed her and she needed me
* Someone who makes me feel happy is ...my husband
* I would like to give a present of...kindness...to... a wherry soul
* A way I could help others is...to become a better listener
* My favorite person to be with is...someone who wants to be with me
I feel Happy when people...are real and unmasked and I still like them
* Things I look for in a friend are...kindness, wounds and the3 way they handle them or better said the willingness to heal
* the best person in the world is......is no better in Gods eyes than the worse if they apologize and change their way
* I could be a better friend if ...I made a list to call to avoided the need to apologize for the forgetfulness to do so.
* Once someone helped me by...showing me that I was many who had shattered and yet did not break, that It was alright not to like parts of who I am and to even embrace those aspects...that's how I learned to love myself and that God too loved all of me the good bad and the ugly he saw beauty in it all
* I choose my Friends because ...they were in my path and that I
saw the real beauty in their hearts.
* I love to give....words
* What I can give to others is ...only as good as what is received
* I don't like people who ...speak ill of others with a hurtful intent
* The greatest harm someone can do to another is...remove their hope
* When people get angry they should ...remember their own issues and step softly
* I wish people could stop...greed, hate and arrogance.
* I would like to say something nice to...everyone
* You can tell someone likes you by...the light in their eyes when they speak to you eye to eye
* I don't like it when people...assume
* When People tease me I ...brace my heart and speak up if I need too but try to be of good humor. I do not let teasing be a part of my family. It is not appropriate.
* I 'm a good friend when...I set my thoughts needs and ideas aside for another needs to come first.
* I like my friends because... they tend to be real people and not masked
* My friends think I am good at...Making them feel safe
* I make new friends by....just being myself
* When I am with my friends I feel...almost everything that they are feelings
* I wish my friends would...Make more time for each other
* My Favorite thing to do with a friend is...It depends on the person...well being still together and just being present without any expectations
* The thing that makes me a good friend is...wanting the best for others
* Someone I would like to get to know better is...The person I am with at any given moment
affiliation
The importance of interpersonal relationships in our lives cannot be overstated. We all need to feel a sense of connectedness to another human being Particularly to those individuals whom we consider to be important and significant. When we feel as though we belong and are connected to those we consider important, and in return we receive respect and approval from them , we gain a sense of affiliation..Do I feel accepted?
*I like to be with....strife free folks
* I like to be with people who...love others kindly yet have good boundaries
* I was a friend to someone when...I needed her and she needed me
* Someone who makes me feel happy is ...my husband
* I would like to give a present of...kindness...to... a wherry soul
* A way I could help others is...to become a better listener
* My favorite person to be with is...someone who wants to be with me
I feel Happy when people...are real and unmasked and I still like them
* Things I look for in a friend are...kindness, wounds and the3 way they handle them or better said the willingness to heal
* the best person in the world is......is no better in Gods eyes than the worse if they apologize and change their way
* I could be a better friend if ...I made a list to call to avoided the need to apologize for the forgetfulness to do so.
* Once someone helped me by...showing me that I was many who had shattered and yet did not break, that It was alright not to like parts of who I am and to even embrace those aspects...that's how I learned to love myself and that God too loved all of me the good bad and the ugly he saw beauty in it all
* I choose my Friends because ...they were in my path and that I
saw the real beauty in their hearts.
* I love to give....words
* What I can give to others is ...only as good as what is received
* I don't like people who ...speak ill of others with a hurtful intent
* The greatest harm someone can do to another is...remove their hope
* When people get angry they should ...remember their own issues and step softly
* I wish people could stop...greed, hate and arrogance.
* I would like to say something nice to...everyone
* You can tell someone likes you by...the light in their eyes when they speak to you eye to eye
* I don't like it when people...assume
* When People tease me I ...brace my heart and speak up if I need too but try to be of good humor. I do not let teasing be a part of my family. It is not appropriate.
* I 'm a good friend when...I set my thoughts needs and ideas aside for another needs to come first.
* I like my friends because... they tend to be real people and not masked
* My friends think I am good at...Making them feel safe
* I make new friends by....just being myself
* When I am with my friends I feel...almost everything that they are feelings
* I wish my friends would...Make more time for each other
* My Favorite thing to do with a friend is...It depends on the person...well being still together and just being present without any expectations
* The thing that makes me a good friend is...wanting the best for others
* Someone I would like to get to know better is...The person I am with at any given moment
affiliation
The importance of interpersonal relationships in our lives cannot be overstated. We all need to feel a sense of connectedness to another human being Particularly to those individuals whom we consider to be important and significant. When we feel as though we belong and are connected to those we consider important, and in return we receive respect and approval from them , we gain a sense of affiliation..Do I feel accepted?
Do I provide myself with the opportunity for group entry?
Am I participating , as a functioning, contributing group member?
Do I acquire special skills in friendship making?
Do I provide myself with an opportunity to gain peer recognition and approval?
Do I show approval and support to others?
Do I discover the interests, capabilities and back grounds of others?
Do I praise others for their accomplishments?
Do I have sensitivity toward the needs and feelings of others?
Do I plan activities that encourage a sense of common spirit and pride?
Am I participating , as a functioning, contributing group member?
Do I acquire special skills in friendship making?
Do I provide myself with an opportunity to gain peer recognition and approval?
Do I show approval and support to others?
Do I discover the interests, capabilities and back grounds of others?
Do I praise others for their accomplishments?
Do I have sensitivity toward the needs and feelings of others?
Do I plan activities that encourage a sense of common spirit and pride?
Selfhood Part 2 ... Feelings and Emotions
Journal Question to consider...
Answer these for your self...
* I am happiest when...I am in the absence of strife
* I feel so mad inside when...I am in the presence of bigotry
* I felt really proud the time I...was allowed to have my car stop others from being killed the although my wounds needed 9 months of care the therapist took me into his office after several months time and told me candidly..."Donetta I have been a LDS all of my life and in all of my years I have never told more less than a hand full of people this...even though we you are not of my religion, I have witnessed you to be an example of Jesus Christ and it is an honor to know you..."
I was privileged to be injured if in any way even this one man may have come to know Him..
* I am happy that...I kept my word to myself and did not become like my offenders and kept my heart soft even through the recovery and so many trials
* I feel great when...I make a difference in the lives around me
* I feel embarrassed when...I forget due to the brain demilenation issue
* I feel sad when ...I do not live up to my self imposed values
* I feel happy when...I have a successful accomplishment
* I feel angry when ...My kids fight
* I feel proud when...I do a good job on the grocery, or help the budget by making bread,clothing and the like. Contributing and helping my family.
* I feel sleepy when...I do not get enough rest
* Sometimes I'm afraid of ...Alzheimer's
* I hate it when...I can not focus if I forget to take my medication
* I love it when...My little boy gives me round the face kisses at bed time
* I like it when...My garden is doing well
* I laugh when...snippets of wisdom are veiled in humor
* I was really scared when...I had a dream someone stole my identity
* I was very happy the time that...I stood in the gap and spoke life into a man who had been hit on a motorcycle right in front of me. I was first on scene after being lead there. I was so happy that I obeyed. I went to the hospital and read a scripture as the mother dropped her jar...it was the very same chapter that she prayed over her wayward son every day.
It was a very HOLY time.
*My Face has a big smile when...my husband looks at me when I see him just out of the corner of my eye and he is admiring me
* I would be happier if... if I dropped 45 pounds
* I felt like crying when ...I think of anyone that is dying in the wound of their heart and I know it and am unable to do anything to help..so I just pray
* Sometimes I feel ...surreal a stranger on this planet
* Sometimes I feel scared when... my husband is not leading us well
* right now I feel ...frustrated and irritable, antsy I forgot to take my meds until a moment ago and it is late evening
* It makes me sad to hear...a hard imbittered heart
* The silliest thing is...mistakes in nature
* The happiest thing is ...a contented person
* When I feel lonely I...reach out to another
* When I'm really angry I...say to the reason if it is a person and it is appropriate "when you---fill in the blank---I feel---fill in the blank.---I would prefer if you would---fill in the blank
This after I get a grip on the anger. I get a grip by identifying what I am really angry about
If I am raging I then identify the triad
1 what am I angry about?
2 what am I feeling shame or guilt over
is it real shame or not
is it guilt than am I really guilty if so make amends
3 what is the fear of loss...what am I afraid of?
This is how I defuse anger/rage
*I sometimes get mad when...injustice occurs and then the guilty person blames the Innocent
* I feel bad when...I hurt someone
* After I cry I ...seldom do I cry but when I do I am speechless for sometime afterward. When I cry I run home to those safe shelters under my makers wing
* I am afraid to...go against what seams right or in right standing
* I wish someone would give me....I way of escape from this stress disorder that would not just create another issue
* What really bothers me is...selfishness and insensitivity.
Answer these for your self...
* I am happiest when...I am in the absence of strife
* I feel so mad inside when...I am in the presence of bigotry
* I felt really proud the time I...was allowed to have my car stop others from being killed the although my wounds needed 9 months of care the therapist took me into his office after several months time and told me candidly..."Donetta I have been a LDS all of my life and in all of my years I have never told more less than a hand full of people this...even though we you are not of my religion, I have witnessed you to be an example of Jesus Christ and it is an honor to know you..."
I was privileged to be injured if in any way even this one man may have come to know Him..
* I am happy that...I kept my word to myself and did not become like my offenders and kept my heart soft even through the recovery and so many trials
* I feel great when...I make a difference in the lives around me
* I feel embarrassed when...I forget due to the brain demilenation issue
* I feel sad when ...I do not live up to my self imposed values
* I feel happy when...I have a successful accomplishment
* I feel angry when ...My kids fight
* I feel proud when...I do a good job on the grocery, or help the budget by making bread,clothing and the like. Contributing and helping my family.
* I feel sleepy when...I do not get enough rest
* Sometimes I'm afraid of ...Alzheimer's
* I hate it when...I can not focus if I forget to take my medication
* I love it when...My little boy gives me round the face kisses at bed time
* I like it when...My garden is doing well
* I laugh when...snippets of wisdom are veiled in humor
* I was really scared when...I had a dream someone stole my identity
* I was very happy the time that...I stood in the gap and spoke life into a man who had been hit on a motorcycle right in front of me. I was first on scene after being lead there. I was so happy that I obeyed. I went to the hospital and read a scripture as the mother dropped her jar...it was the very same chapter that she prayed over her wayward son every day.
It was a very HOLY time.
*My Face has a big smile when...my husband looks at me when I see him just out of the corner of my eye and he is admiring me
* I would be happier if... if I dropped 45 pounds
* I felt like crying when ...I think of anyone that is dying in the wound of their heart and I know it and am unable to do anything to help..so I just pray
* Sometimes I feel ...surreal a stranger on this planet
* Sometimes I feel scared when... my husband is not leading us well
* right now I feel ...frustrated and irritable, antsy I forgot to take my meds until a moment ago and it is late evening
* It makes me sad to hear...a hard imbittered heart
* The silliest thing is...mistakes in nature
* The happiest thing is ...a contented person
* When I feel lonely I...reach out to another
* When I'm really angry I...say to the reason if it is a person and it is appropriate "when you---fill in the blank---I feel---fill in the blank.---I would prefer if you would---fill in the blank
This after I get a grip on the anger. I get a grip by identifying what I am really angry about
If I am raging I then identify the triad
1 what am I angry about?
2 what am I feeling shame or guilt over
is it real shame or not
is it guilt than am I really guilty if so make amends
3 what is the fear of loss...what am I afraid of?
This is how I defuse anger/rage
*I sometimes get mad when...injustice occurs and then the guilty person blames the Innocent
* I feel bad when...I hurt someone
* After I cry I ...seldom do I cry but when I do I am speechless for sometime afterward. When I cry I run home to those safe shelters under my makers wing
* I am afraid to...go against what seams right or in right standing
* I wish someone would give me....I way of escape from this stress disorder that would not just create another issue
* What really bothers me is...selfishness and insensitivity.
Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Selfhood
A journal of discovery
*I am best at...tenacity
*Something I like about myself is...I am full of life
*I like to pretend I...am dancing with my Father God
*I'm sure glad I...got to become a mother
*When I grow up...I will be passing from this world to the next
*If I were and animal , I'd be ...a wolf
* If I were a building, I'd be...a log cabin
* The place I like best to be is...the forest
* two things I like about myself are...my determination to do what is right and my acceptance that no matter how hard I try I will make mistakes then I will make amends for it
*I feel important when...I make someone feel loved
*I don't like it when...my past haunts me the PTSD causes my stress hormones to really act other than my heart would want to..ie grumpy or irritable
*I look best when...I am happy
*When I was little...I survived odds that only God can be credited for making me able to do so
*One of the best things about me is...my quest for a full life
*After working I...I never have an after
* A famous person I'd like to be is...I do not want to be any other than who I am
*My face is ...ageing yet is is still soft and not road hard with the pains of life
*If I were a little kid I would ...open the eyes of adults understanding
*My body is...a stranger
*The part of me I'd like most to change is ...my weight and weakness
*I can play ... ...all day.
I do not know how to play
*If I were very tiny, I would...Whisper words of life into the ears of all I could
*When I look in the mirror the first thing I see is...a sage in a vessel w in a realm that I do not belong keeping time.
* I run like a ...old woman with the spirit of a child who is baffled that the body is not working as it should
*I'm as tall as...The touch of my Father God's hand on my cheek
* I don't want to ...have Alzheimer's
*During the summer I like...air conditioning and my children home with me
*During winter I like ...gardening
*The way I'd describe my family is...functional with a limp
* someday...May my children be functional adults that have a wonderful life
* I'm not afraid to...try
* Two of my favorite things are...my boys good night kisses that surround my face like a clock tender and sweet. My daughters approach
*If I had a magic carpet, I'd not trust it
* My favorite part of the day is...the first moments of being awake
* I'm sure glad I ...care
* I like to play...by creating things
* I'd like to say a good thing about...my Mother
*If I could be invisible, I would...merge with God
* I love to eat...cherries
* I hate to eat...nasty food
* I wish I could...get off of all medications
* I like the sound of...rain
* I'm bigger than ...bigotry
I'm smaller than ...arrogance
* I hope that...This exercise helps
* If I could do anything different, it would be...believe that I could do it differently
* If I were a giant, I would ...destroy the myth of all giants are mean
* I really like...flowers
* I'll never forget ...being pursued by my husband
* I like the way I...do not give up
* I would not like to have...hateful kids
* If I were a bird, I would ...sing
* I would like a magic ring that...ended strife
* I need more...exercise
* I'm the kind of person who...people either love or hate
* I am unique because...I am alive with the knowledge that most carry to their self imposed death
*My favorite pet is a...a canary
* I am am lucky because....I am loved and I know it
* My favorite thing to wear is...nice undergarments
* If I were older, I would ...miss my kids adulthood
* I wish I could play...with my children...better
* The person I'd like most to look like is...my young self...because...I miss her beauty
* My favorite sport is...Frisbee
* My favorite place to go is...quite
* When I was younger I enjoyed...roller skating
* My favorite TV show is ...Lie to me... because ...it confirms my intuition
* I wish I could tell you....how badly I hurt in my heart
* A part of me I like is....holy
* I'd sure like it if...it were safe in this world to be transparent
* I wish grownups would...become adults
* I was really sorry I...acted badly with my kids
Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
*I am best at...tenacity
*Something I like about myself is...I am full of life
*I like to pretend I...am dancing with my Father God
*I'm sure glad I...got to become a mother
*When I grow up...I will be passing from this world to the next
*If I were and animal , I'd be ...a wolf
* If I were a building, I'd be...a log cabin
* The place I like best to be is...the forest
* two things I like about myself are...my determination to do what is right and my acceptance that no matter how hard I try I will make mistakes then I will make amends for it
*I feel important when...I make someone feel loved
*I don't like it when...my past haunts me the PTSD causes my stress hormones to really act other than my heart would want to..ie grumpy or irritable
*I look best when...I am happy
*When I was little...I survived odds that only God can be credited for making me able to do so
*One of the best things about me is...my quest for a full life
*After working I...I never have an after
* A famous person I'd like to be is...I do not want to be any other than who I am
*My face is ...ageing yet is is still soft and not road hard with the pains of life
*If I were a little kid I would ...open the eyes of adults understanding
*My body is...a stranger
*The part of me I'd like most to change is ...my weight and weakness
*I can play ... ...all day.
I do not know how to play
*If I were very tiny, I would...Whisper words of life into the ears of all I could
*When I look in the mirror the first thing I see is...a sage in a vessel w in a realm that I do not belong keeping time.
* I run like a ...old woman with the spirit of a child who is baffled that the body is not working as it should
*I'm as tall as...The touch of my Father God's hand on my cheek
* I don't want to ...have Alzheimer's
*During the summer I like...air conditioning and my children home with me
*During winter I like ...gardening
*The way I'd describe my family is...functional with a limp
* someday...May my children be functional adults that have a wonderful life
* I'm not afraid to...try
* Two of my favorite things are...my boys good night kisses that surround my face like a clock tender and sweet. My daughters approach
*If I had a magic carpet, I'd not trust it
* My favorite part of the day is...the first moments of being awake
* I'm sure glad I ...care
* I like to play...by creating things
* I'd like to say a good thing about...my Mother
*If I could be invisible, I would...merge with God
* I love to eat...cherries
* I hate to eat...nasty food
* I wish I could...get off of all medications
* I like the sound of...rain
* I'm bigger than ...bigotry
I'm smaller than ...arrogance
* I hope that...This exercise helps
* If I could do anything different, it would be...believe that I could do it differently
* If I were a giant, I would ...destroy the myth of all giants are mean
* I really like...flowers
* I'll never forget ...being pursued by my husband
* I like the way I...do not give up
* I would not like to have...hateful kids
* If I were a bird, I would ...sing
* I would like a magic ring that...ended strife
* I need more...exercise
* I'm the kind of person who...people either love or hate
* I am unique because...I am alive with the knowledge that most carry to their self imposed death
*My favorite pet is a...a canary
* I am am lucky because....I am loved and I know it
* My favorite thing to wear is...nice undergarments
* If I were older, I would ...miss my kids adulthood
* I wish I could play...with my children...better
* The person I'd like most to look like is...my young self...because...I miss her beauty
* My favorite sport is...Frisbee
* My favorite place to go is...quite
* When I was younger I enjoyed...roller skating
* My favorite TV show is ...Lie to me... because ...it confirms my intuition
* I wish I could tell you....how badly I hurt in my heart
* A part of me I like is....holy
* I'd sure like it if...it were safe in this world to be transparent
* I wish grownups would...become adults
* I was really sorry I...acted badly with my kids
Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
Security
A journal of self discovery
* Some one who really makes me feel comfortable is ...Denise
*A special person in my life is...my husband
*I can always count on...Steve...and this makes me feel...safe
*One rule I'd like to change in our home is ...yelling stopped go to each other and speak instead of yelling across the house
*If I were the President I'd...throw my hands up in utter despair and repent before God on behalf of my nation
*I would hate to lose* my mind mental capacities
*The advice I'd give my child is...clean hands and a pure heart nothing is worth becoming hard hearten
*Something I'd allow my children to do that I'm not allowed to do is...ware a crown in public
*The best part of my job (homemaking ) is...being owned by no man
*Something that is special to me which I'd hate to lose is...intimacy as in into me I see
*Something at home I like very much is...family
*The reason adults set rules is...in effort to provide safety
*Two rules that older brothers and sister should have to follow are...humility and kindness
*Two rules that younger brothers and sisters should have to follow are...respect and humility
*If I could set any new rule for this home it would be...no more killing games
*I think the most important home rule is...kindness be the rule of your heart
*One rule that would make the world a better place is...kindness
*The most important rule is ...the golden rule...because...It is the enacting of compassion toward self and your fellow
*People expect me to...be real
*My parents expected me to...fulfill their needs
*My Spouse expects me to...succeed
*When I'm in a strange place I...survey for danger
*It bothers me whenever I'm ...forgetful
1. security
n. pl. se·cu·ri·ties
1. Freedom from risk or danger; safety.
2. Freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence.
3. Something that gives or assures safety, as:Do I feel accepted, welcomed and important?
Do I share my own thoughts and feelings with others?
Am I listened too?
Do I have high enough challenges yet still capable of being met?
Do I have others who I can depend upon and trust?
Am I personally acknowledged by others with greetings phone calls and notes?
Do I live by reasonable rules and limits?
Do I understand the rules and limits and the reward/consequences of them?
Self Esteem
1. security
n. pl. se·cu·ri·ties
Do I feel accepted, welcomed and important?
Do I share my own thoughts and feelings with others?
Am I listened too?
Do I have high enough challenges yet still capable of being met?
Do I have others who I can depend upon and trust?
Am I personally acknowledged by others with greetings phone calls and notes?
Do I live by reasonable rules and limits?
Do I understand the rules and limits and the reward/consequences of them?
2.self hood
n.
3.affiliation
The importance of interpersonal relationships in our lives cannot be overstated. We all need to feel a sense of connectedness to another human being Particularly to those individuals whom we consider to be important and significant. When we feel as though we belong and are connected to those we consider important, and in return we receive respect and approval from them , we gain a sense of affiliation..Do I feel accepted?
Do I provide myself with the opportunity for group entry?
Am I participating , as a functioning, contributing group member?
Do I acquire special skills in friendship making?
Do I provide myself with an opportunity to gain peer recognition and approval?
Do I show approval and support to others?
Do I discover the interests, capabilities and back grounds of others?
Do I praise others for their accomplishments?
Do I have sensitivity toward the needs and feelings of others?
Do I plan activities that encourage a sense of common spirit and pride?
4.mission
Do I ask for help in identifying what I want to achieve?
Do I take the time to discuss my aspirations and goals with others?
Do I assess my present as well as previous performance capabilities?
Do I provide opportunities for myself to check my progress regularly?
Do I encourage myself to acknowledge my goal-setting results?
Do I set realistic goals that are attainable?
Do I consider alternatives in problem solving and make my own decisions?
Do I allow myself the consequences of my actions or do I do nothing so as to avoid them (positive or negative)?
Do I encourage myself to influence my own direction in my studies and projects?
Do I avoid undue comparisons of other individual performances?
5.competence
com·pe·tence (k
m
p
-t
ns)n.
n. pl. se·cu·ri·ties
1. Freedom from risk or danger; safety.
2. Freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence.
3. Something that gives or assures safety, as:Do I feel accepted, welcomed and important?
Do I share my own thoughts and feelings with others?
Am I listened too?
Do I have high enough challenges yet still capable of being met?
Do I have others who I can depend upon and trust?
Am I personally acknowledged by others with greetings phone calls and notes?
Do I live by reasonable rules and limits?
Do I understand the rules and limits and the reward/consequences of them?
2.self hood
n.
1. The state of having a distinct identity; individuality.
2. The fully developed self; an achieved personality.
Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?
3.affiliation
The importance of interpersonal relationships in our lives cannot be overstated. We all need to feel a sense of connectedness to another human being Particularly to those individuals whom we consider to be important and significant. When we feel as though we belong and are connected to those we consider important, and in return we receive respect and approval from them , we gain a sense of affiliation..Do I feel accepted?
Do I provide myself with the opportunity for group entry?
Am I participating , as a functioning, contributing group member?
Do I acquire special skills in friendship making?
Do I provide myself with an opportunity to gain peer recognition and approval?
Do I show approval and support to others?
Do I discover the interests, capabilities and back grounds of others?
Do I praise others for their accomplishments?
Do I have sensitivity toward the needs and feelings of others?
Do I plan activities that encourage a sense of common spirit and pride?
4.mission
Do I ask for help in identifying what I want to achieve?
Do I take the time to discuss my aspirations and goals with others?
Do I assess my present as well as previous performance capabilities?
Do I provide opportunities for myself to check my progress regularly?
Do I encourage myself to acknowledge my goal-setting results?
Do I set realistic goals that are attainable?
Do I consider alternatives in problem solving and make my own decisions?
Do I allow myself the consequences of my actions or do I do nothing so as to avoid them (positive or negative)?
Do I encourage myself to influence my own direction in my studies and projects?
Do I avoid undue comparisons of other individual performances?
5.competence
com·pe·tence (k
mp-tns)n.1.
a. The state or quality of being adequately or well qualified; ability. See Synonyms at ability.
b. A specific range of skill, knowledge, or ability.
Do I provide opportunities for myself to succeed?
Are my expectations realistic-That is related to what I can accomplish?
Do I provide opportunities for awards and recognition beyond strictly "academic achievement"?
Do I invite myself to expand my special talents and interests and share them with my peers?
Do I express confidence in my ability to learn?
Do I let myself receive feedback on how to increase my competence?
Do I sequence subject areas in small steps so I have the opportunity to achieve?
Do I assess my knowledge of subject matter so that I am fully apprised of my capabilities?
Do I take steps to ensure assess to my own progress and not compare myself to others?
Do I encourage myself to praise myself for my accomplishments?
Do I give myself opportunities to become aware of my own capabilities and strengths?
Do I provide opportunities for myself to succeed?
Are my expectations realistic-That is related to what I can accomplish?
Do I provide opportunities for awards and recognition beyond strictly "academic achievement"?
Do I invite myself to expand my special talents and interests and share them with my peers?
Do I express confidence in my ability to learn?
Do I let myself receive feedback on how to increase my competence?
Do I sequence subject areas in small steps so I have the opportunity to achieve?
Do I assess my knowledge of subject matter so that I am fully apprised of my capabilities?
Do I take steps to ensure assess to my own progress and not compare myself to others?
Do I encourage myself to praise myself for my accomplishments?
Do I give myself opportunities to become aware of my own capabilities and strengths?
These things are esential in becoming whole.
They are also important as parents to gain a good grasp on.
I see in the children I am raising some gaps.
It is my heart to become whole and to heal them as well
That now gaps exist and that their adulthood are sound and free from the pit falls that woundedness in these things bring.
I will be begining an exercise in jurnaling my way through these issues in a process of questions and answers.
Join in feel free...
Ask yourself these questions and heal.
They are also important as parents to gain a good grasp on.
I see in the children I am raising some gaps.
It is my heart to become whole and to heal them as well
That now gaps exist and that their adulthood are sound and free from the pit falls that woundedness in these things bring.
I will be begining an exercise in jurnaling my way through these issues in a process of questions and answers.
Join in feel free...
Ask yourself these questions and heal.
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