Walking Wounded

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Self Esteem

1. security
n. pl. se·cu·ri·ties
1. Freedom from risk or danger; safety.
2. Freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence.
3. Something that gives or assures safety, as:

Do I feel accepted, welcomed and important?
Do I share my own thoughts and feelings with others?
Am I listened too?
Do I have high enough challenges yet still capable of being met?
Do I have others who I can depend upon and trust?
Am I personally acknowledged by others with greetings phone calls and notes?
Do I live by reasonable rules and limits?
Do I understand the rules and limits and the reward/consequences of them?

2.self hood
1. The state of having a distinct identity; individuality.
2. The fully developed self; an achieved personality.

Are my traits and characteristics acknowledged?
Do I give myself opportunities to discover my interests ,attitudes, roles and physical characteristics?
Do I create opportunities for myself to reflect upon significant influences in my past or present and how these have played a role in my own self Perceptions?
Do I allow myself to express my uniqueness and to risk being different?
Do I allow myself to explore feelings and attitudes that promote an awareness of what I value?
Am I learning to make positive statements and accept praise?
Do I accept my differences?
Do I let my list of self description increase?
Have I allowed myself a sense of pride in my unique qualities?
Do I avoid equating my work with my self-worth?


The importance of interpersonal relationships in our lives cannot be overstated. We all need to feel a sense of connectedness to another human being Particularly to those individuals whom we consider to be important and significant. When we feel as though we belong and are connected to those we consider important, and in return we receive respect and approval from them , we gain a sense of affiliation..Do I feel accepted?

Do I provide myself with the opportunity for group entry?
Am I participating , as a functioning, contributing group member?
Do I acquire special skills in friendship making?
Do I provide myself with an opportunity to gain peer recognition and approval?
Do I show approval and support to others?
Do I discover the interests, capabilities and back grounds of others?
Do I praise others for their accomplishments?
Do I have sensitivity toward the needs and feelings of others?
Do I plan activities that encourage a sense of common spirit and pride?


Do I ask for help in identifying what I want to achieve?
Do I take the time to discuss my aspirations and goals with others?
Do I assess my present as well as previous performance capabilities?
Do I provide opportunities for myself to check my progress regularly?
Do I encourage myself to acknowledge my goal-setting results?
Do I set realistic goals that are attainable?
Do I consider alternatives in problem solving and make my own decisions?
Do I allow myself the consequences of my actions or do I do nothing so as to avoid them (positive or negative)?
Do I encourage myself to influence my own direction in my studies and projects?
Do I avoid undue comparisons of other individual performances?

com·pe·tence (kmp-tns)n.
a. The state or quality of being adequately or well qualified; ability. See Synonyms at ability.
b. A specific range of skill, knowledge, or ability.

Do I provide opportunities for myself to succeed?
Are my expectations realistic-That is related to what I can accomplish?
Do I provide opportunities for awards and recognition beyond strictly "academic achievement"?
Do I invite myself to expand my special talents and interests and share them with my peers?
Do I express confidence in my ability to learn?
Do I let myself receive feedback on how to increase my competence?
Do I sequence subject areas in small steps so I have the opportunity to achieve?
Do I assess my knowledge of subject matter so that I am fully apprised of my capabilities?
Do I take steps to ensure assess to my own progress and not compare myself to others?
Do I encourage myself to praise myself for my accomplishments?
Do I give myself opportunities to become aware of my own capabilities and strengths?

These things are esential in becoming whole.
They are also important as parents to gain a good grasp on.
I see in the children I am raising some gaps.
It is my heart to become whole and to heal them as well
That now gaps exist and that their adulthood are sound and free from the pit falls that woundedness in these things bring.

I will be begining an exercise in jurnaling my way through these issues in a process of questions and answers.
Join in feel free...
Ask yourself these questions and heal.

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Songs of my heart