Walking Wounded

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


adding this to the T.T. was an after thought, it was just so right to do.

Greater love has no man or woman, boy or girl, than to lay down their life for an other.

This is a love that surpasses the ego.
It overcomes the pride.
It silences the greed.
It gives beyond measure.
It does not consider consequences brought on by doing what is right.
It counts that as loss to gain a greater good.

Such as it is with Christ Jesus.

Such as it was with Carolyn, in my childhood.
she herself only being a child in her mid teens.
This friendship is such, that age has no barrier except that when much has been gained (as in possessions or prestige) it is a great deal more difficult to offer.
That I think is why as adults we have a terribly difficult time "loving " others.
When we have not known love it is also a pretty difficult thing to offer.
Carolyn's sacrifice, quite literally, was an example to me at a very early age.

Yesterday my boy gave such a gift to two friends who were being picked on.
Today he is going without recess for doing so in a flawed manner.
Non the less this is a gift he offered.
He wanted so to avoid school today for the loss and the threat also of retaliation.

I can understand this.
Because of that I was able to offer him this council.
My eyes were clear to the fact that each one of us from a very early age had to try on new hats to see what one would socially best fit us.
Many of us had those hats put on us by others, cruel kids or adults.
At times forced on for survival.
We are not that person way deep into our souls but we often try hard to find a place of safety. Especially deep within our oun hearts.
This often can cause us to forget who we really are.
Our authintic self is lost to the servival.
The innate needs for acceptance and safety.

It is in great courage we must overcome those limitations upon us.

In remembering who I am I remember those who I have known.
I consider the influences that they have each had on me.
Each of you and all who I know and or come in contact with act as a mirror.

This morning I had my boy stand in front of a mirror.
I asked him who he sees.
I asked him what his name is.
I reminded him that he had no obligation to "place a hat" conform to the world around him.
I want to teach them to be true to who they are.

I once told my daughter that I understood that she may need to hide her innocence, but to never loose it or harden herself to it.
To keep it hidden if she must to survive, but never let anyone take it from her.

It was for me this hiding that kept me alive.
Each day as I raise these sweet children of mine I am reminded of those things within me who I am.
How it is in being who I am that I will be empowered to keep them free
(to the best of my ability ) to be true heart.

I saw how many of the true hearts that could not make it through the mire took their lives .
Yes I have lost both close friends and acquaintances by suicide.
These are the great losses in my life.
Those who had so little support in being true heart.
Whose hearts had been so wounded and torn at that they could not be true heart and live.
These who I had the great privilege of knowing then by their true heart.
Only I in many cases were allowed into the inner chamber of their authentic selves.
They lost the battle to the soul killing forces of this world, or better said of the darkness that has come to steal this world from us.

I want to talk more about my friends.
Two in particular, but as of yet it is just so tender.
I just had to say...
Being true heart takes all the courage and strength we can muster.
It takes such safety that I do not know if we can really be totally true heart here.
I do hope so.
It is my way of fighting for it.
It does take such great risk.
For each of us fear what would happen around us if we stopped playing or living under a hat of expectations whether from within or without.
God knows our true heart.
Remember who you are...
I have so injured my own children even in this.
It is all I desire to restore and support them in being true to their hearts.
This is who God created them to be.
This is the true wealth that is gifted them and us as an inheritance.
Keep your innocence ,even if you must hide it to be safe.
It is my heart for you that safety come for you that you find a life of living in our true heart the prize.
This is the ultimate recovery.
Taking back what is ours.
Never allowing anyone or anything to take it from us.

That threat of retaliation for standing up for what is right...
That threat for being true heart and all the power that that gives us to become a great threat...
Well letting that true heart be stolen is worse.
The threat of being given a retribution does not even give measure to losing your heart.
With all diligence KEEP YOU HEART!


Denise said...

This is a precious post and I read it and reread it... Such a power you have my friend.... a GREAT power.. The past had taken you places that most will never walk (thank God) but because you walked those dark places you can show others (your children) how to walk in the light.. You know what it is like to have had your life taken away, but because of that you are able to teach others how to live...... You have great power in the name of Christ...... HE has brought you to this time and place for a reason............

Shalom to you my friend..

Laurie Ann said...

Powerful post! Happy Thankful Thursday!

Marsha said...

I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. He has brought you through the dark places. He will continue to walk beside you and when He needs to, He will carry you.

Just beautiful. Thank you for your transparency.

Songs of my heart