Internal damage to the matter of the brain from years of abuse is a real issue many survivors face.
It is only now being recognized as Non Epileptic Seizures.
This in itself a miss-nomer, for any thing that is not electrical has not been recognized by the general medical profession.
I am VERY fortunate to have been stumbled into the hands of a very few select professionals who understand the effects of long term abuse and yes even torture.
Very few survivors ever over come to this point due to many factors including ignorance , lack of support both emotional and financial just to name a few. Poor quality of care is also one of them.
It was in the 50's that they were doing mass frontal labatemies (sp?). Were they stuck ice picks into the brain via the eye socket and just tour up the frontal lobe. Scary thought.
It is a scary thought for those who suffer with this type of mental illness to get help. For me the road has been very long and hard. I am one who was aided in the process by an apparently very high intellect. I say that from the responses and results of countless test and studies.
Today upon returning to the neurologist I found that although there may be an exceedingly slim chance of MS. it is more than likely in both of our options that the issue is this neuro damage making its way out my bones through symptoms that are very much real.
So the neurologist has had a practice several years and decided a few years ago to further his education and get a doctrine in psychology. It is his offer for me to consider this proposal...
He has to have 7 sessions with client to finish his dissertation. He asked if I might be willing to to receive the cognitive restructuring (the only known aide to this N.E.S. condition) from him. Through my insurance using a covering of an office he will work under. He said that his liability insurance had no issue with it. He is in the process of getting a sponsor who is the head of the board of physiology. Under his covering he could pursue the last of his (second) doctrine. He would then use my case as a dissertation paper.
I am almost to cry. I do not know why I lived, but this is so amazing to think I may be able to get help, and to educated the medical profession at large. Help in the restoration from a very rare disorder that so effects those who live though abuse and or torture. The hard wirer of the brain is so difficult to restructure. It is like the torture never stops to the brain (not the intellectual part) and it just continues to respond like the abuse never stop.
I would help out some of those who might other wise become like so many I have known. ..dead at their own hand.
It is so very rare that any of us are able to function at such a high level. It is hoped that cognitive restructuring of the brain might give me a freedom from the systems that plague me to this day and are steadily getting worse as I (my brain) ages. It is by the grace of God that he created me so very bright as to be able to become restored to this degree. We know that this is his desire for my peers as well.
I told the neurologist I would consider his offer. He asked me to please not just let it go as far as keeping an eye on the systems that are taking away my cognitive abilities. We might just be able to turn this around. I would be a test subject in this new and advancing break though in helping survivors to thrive.